A post for Dads being divorced.

The phrase in the image can be reversed too:

First BELIEVE you CAN, then DECIDE you WILL.

Either way your Beliefs and your Decisions will determine what kind of future you’ll have.

A long time ago my 1st wife left me, I remember being in that place of confusion and anger, I remember wanting to blame my ex for everything, I remember feeling betrayed… but then I realised what I wanted more than anything – and everything changed.

I can’t tell you it was an epiphany, or a bolt of lightning in my mind – but at some point I decided my daughter was the most important thing to me and I needed to find a way to build the strongest relationship I could with her – despite the situation.

The solution was as simple as A, B, C – but that didn’t mean it was going to be easy. Some people will tell you what you want most in life is hard because you have to prove to yourself how much you really want it. I’m not sure I believe that.

Once I started down the A, B, C path everything actually got easier in some respects – it still took a lot of self reflection and soul searching for me to come to terms with it all, BUT, dealing with my ex and getting access to my daughter definitely became easier.

There is a way through. You can have a brighter future. I’m living proof of it.

If you are in this situation or know of a Dad who is – take a look at my dedicated Facebook Group: Divorced Dads Rise Up and Be Proud here

Enjoy

Stu

Do Your Possessions Give You Confidence?

What do yours mean?

Hiya,

I can see that having all of my possessions around me provides proof that I’m ‘worth it’ as L’Oreal says.

I worked hard, I used my intellect and integrity to provide the funds necessary to buy these things. They validate me – I NEED THEM !

Really? Do I?  – NO.

I want to move to a bigger, nicer, house – WHY? So I can have further evidence of my worth. So I can show those that know me that I am capable, clever, hardworking and I CAN DO THIS!

I don’t need to earn a fortune, just enough to be financially FREE. Does that mean I’m not worth a fortune? Maybe, is that what I believe?

I only feel confident when I’m talking about something I know a lot about or doing something I know I can do. Is that true? Is that really true? Can I feel confident talking and doing that which I don’t fully know? Who would TRUST me?

Aha, my possessions therefore show others they can trust me. TRUST is one of my main values. It’s important for me to trust others and for them to trust me. I can create trust by showing that I have integrity and I’ll always do my best. Are my possessions a visible sign of that?

So, do I need to know EVERYTHING?

Maybe! Maybe, I can point the way, maybe the power is in the questions. Am I confident about that. YES. Do I trust the questioning process? YES. It’s the only place from where discovery is made.

Resistance to the exercises teachers give us may come from NOT wanting to discover the answers. One question to ask is why won’t you do an exercise? What might you find out that will prove to be uncomfortable?

We say we don’t have time or do we just create DISTRACTIONS? If we do, why? So that we don’t discover? Ignorance is BLISS so they say. It is, BUT ignorance keeps us in the dark.

Make TIME to discover. I like to help others discover. I like to facilitate that. By asking questions.

What questions?

Penetrating ‘why’ questions. Why, why, why? How do we know when we get to the root ‘why’? – We FEEL it.

We know already – we’re discovering it, uncovering it, revealing it, shining a light on it. We’ll know when we KNOW.

That was my own investigation into how my possessions influence my confidence – will you ask how yours influence You?

 

This post was inspired by my own lessons from one of my teachers – SoulDancer (Yes, his real name!). Thanks Soul.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

PS: If you still want to get a copy of “Do You Hate Your Job?” you can get it on Kindle for less than £2 or a pdf copy at no cost right here: FREE Copy

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How important is trust?

This is October 28th of my book:  ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At ATime‘.

Take the opportunity today to trust.

Be open. Be transparent. Tackle issues head-on. Be discerning about how much ‘character trust’ and ‘competence trust’ you give.

1. How much integrity do those around you have and do you have? and

2. How competent in getting the job done are they or you?

Without trust we could not function in society. We have to trust that other drivers on the road will not run into us for the hell of it. We have to trust that the doctor at the hospital knows how to heal us. We have to trust the justice system is protecting us. We have to trust that those close to us are being honest and loyal.

A lack of basic trust will make us paranoid, I imagine a lot of conspiracy theorists have very low levels of trust. Of course, we have to remain vigilant to the truth, you can’t believe all you read or hear on the news. Advertising and election campaigns can be misleading at best.

But keep a healthy level of trust and accept that it’ll be misplaced at times.

“ See, when you make a commitment you build hope. When you keep a commitment you build trust. ” ~ Stephen M. R. Covey

Enjoy

Stu

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