Tag Archives: inspiration
The phrase in the image can be reversed too:
First BELIEVE you CAN, then DECIDE you WILL.
Either way your Beliefs and your Decisions will determine what kind of future you’ll have.
A long time ago my 1st wife left me, I remember being in that place of confusion and anger, I remember wanting to blame my ex for everything, I remember feeling betrayed… but then I realised what I wanted more than anything – and everything changed.
I can’t tell you it was an epiphany, or a bolt of lightning in my mind – but at some point I decided my daughter was the most important thing to me and I needed to find a way to build the strongest relationship I could with her – despite the situation.
The solution was as simple as A, B, C – but that didn’t mean it was going to be easy. Some people will tell you what you want most in life is hard because you have to prove to yourself how much you really want it. I’m not sure I believe that.
Once I started down the A, B, C path everything actually got easier in some respects – it still took a lot of self reflection and soul searching for me to come to terms with it all, BUT, dealing with my ex and getting access to my daughter definitely became easier.
There is a way through. You can have a brighter future. I’m living proof of it.
If you are in this situation or know of a Dad who is – take a look at my dedicated Facebook Group: Divorced Dads Rise Up and Be Proud here
I can’t remember the last time I heard this explained so clearly. Dr Joe Dispenza teaches us how our mind works on remote control most of the time, what that means to us on an experiential level, and how we can change that so that we can have happier, more fulfilled lives.
To celebrate passing my 50,000th view today for this blog here is an inspirational and thought provoking TED Talk by Priya Parker – 19 mins long but worth it:
Even though I count myself as a self motivated person and I have many strategies and tactics for staying on track with my goals (I should do – I wrote a book with 365 of them) – I still like to keep my ear to the ground about other inspirational and thought provoking ideas and concepts.
To that end I thought I’d share some sites that always give me a lift when I’m struggling:
Check them out some time – you’ll be glad you did.
Please read the first two parts if you haven’t already where we discuss what bothers you about your job and why:
Read Part 1 Here: Can you fall in love with your job? (Pt.1)
Read Part 2 Here: Can you fall in love with your job? (Pt.2)
In this post we explore…
How You Can Change It
Understanding what your own core values are will be a good indicator if the culture you are working in is a good fit for you. Write a list of your values and compare them with what you think your company stands for. Trust, honesty, fairness, responsibility for example.
In trying to change how you feel about your job The Harvard Business Review advises:
Look at yourself – could you be the cause of the issue?
Find meaning – finding meaning and purpose in what we do often leads to motivation and inspiration.
Alter what you do – by simply acting a different way you will change the results that you get, things could improve by that alone
Change who you interract with – often the catalyst for upset is another person, avoid them if possible, alter how you react to them by using some calming techniques such as deep breathing and pausing before responding
Resist complaining – what you think about you bring about – literally your own complaining could be creating some or all of the dissatisfaction you are experiencing.
Other ways may be to examine your company and identify other departments or sections you’d rather work in, then, retrain to work there if you need to.
Facing your fears can cause massive change too. If you are afraid of asking for a raise or to transfer to another department or to confront that colleague etc. weigh up the pros and cons of acting anyway. What are the potential consequences of facing your fear? Once you identify them they usually shrink – even if it’s just a little. Also, if you can identify them – then accept them, it’s much easier to take that step into the fearful.
Now let’s look on the positive side.
What is it that you like about your job? Everyone likes something about their job, no matter how small. What was it that first excited you about your job? Think of 5 things you like about your job right now and write them down.
Was that difficult? If so, then it’s possible you’re in the wrong job, or the wrong company. If not, then there’s still hope that you can fall in love with your job.
Some Common Mistakes
Let’s identify a couple of mistakes people make (I certainly did) when considering their present career situation.
1. I’m stuck and there’s nothing I can do about it. Actually, you just feel stuck. There’s plenty you can do about it which I’ll be discussing in my next post How to Change Jobs (coming soon).
2. I need to quit this job right now. If you have the finances in place then possibly, if not, this is the worst thing you can do. It’s easier to get a job from a job – ask anyone that’s been unemployed for a while. Take time to consider your options (more about this in my next post).
3. This is the wrong time to look for another job. With the economy as it is, unemployment rising still, inflation out-pacing pay rises – it would certainly seem that way. But actually, recession is a furnace for opportunity and I’ll be discussing how you identify yours in my next post.
Job Change Example
When I decided to quit my job 10 years ago I had previously thought all of the above. I had a ‘stuck in a rut’ mindset for years. That changed, and my circumstances followed shortly after. As I look back I realise I had more options than I could possibly have imagined – fortunately I persued more than one which has led to a much more balanced and fulfilled lifestyle now. This can happen for you too.
We started by exploring what it is about your present job that bothers you, whether that was a lack of purpose or meaning, lack of opportunity to learn and progress or you’re simply exhausted on a daily basis.
We then discussed ‘why’ these things bothered you. Maybe there are associations being made from previous experiences from when you were younger. We asked if why you chose this job in the first place and why those decisions may have led to your present dissatisfaction.
And today we looked at ways you can change your present circumstances and fall back in love with your job or at least identify whether you need to change it. We wrapped up with some common mistakes people make when they are feeling frustrated and trapped by their job – if this is you, please hold on at least until you’ve read my next post.
In that we will go deeper into how you decide to move on and what you move on to.
Hope you’ve found these last 3 posts useful.
Read Part 1 Here: Can you fall in love with your job? (Pt.1)
Read Part 2 Here: Can you fall in love with your job? (Pt.2)
PS: Sign up for my free online video training series here: CLICK HERE and get my daily ‘Ponders Quotes and Questions‘ thought provoking emails automatically.
If you have read many of the posts here on this blog or are reading my book or are taking part in my 90 Day Program, you’ll know I advocate Habits.
Habits are a key tool in getting you from A – B in any part of your life. But, how do you create a habit in the first place?
There are many ways, but here are just two:
#1 Create an incentive
#2 Create a reward
You’d be forgiven for thinking they are one and the same thing but they’re not.
Let’s say you want to go to the gym on a regular basis to get your fitness levels back up or to lose weight or to generally buff yourself up. If you’re like me you might find the gym is boring. If that was the case I’d probably advise you do something else, but for the example let’s continue with the gym analogy.
You sign up for a 6 month term and decide you want to go every other day and for the first couple of weeks you stick with it – it’s new after all, and that in itself can be the incentive and reward. After a while though you may find yourself too busy or too tired or too stressed to go as often. Before long you’re down to once a week then once a fortnight.
Here’s what you can do, start with your incentive. (If you can’t get yourself to even go, you’ll not qualify for your reward, right.) So take your iPod and load it with the music that really gets you pumped up – this is going to get you into the right state of mind. Alternatively, if you like audio books or other audio products load it with them. Do NOT allow yourself to listen to those things unless you are at the gym. Not in the car, not at work, not lounging around the house. ONLY at the gym. My other half Em had a good idea on this too, most gyms have the TV on the running machines which you hook your earphones into. Simply time your gym visit with something you love to watch on the TV – again make it a rule you cannot watch that programme anywhere else. This is not a new suggestion, but the key here is – exclusivity! That way you look forward to the gym because you look forward to the other activity you do whilst at the gym.
Now you have an incentive.
Every time you go to the gym from then on take time afterwards to go to the café and have a relaxed drink, or spend half an hour reading your favourite magazine or newspaper. Try to save that treat for post gym visits too so you associate that pleasurable passtime with working out. Again, only do that after you’ve been to the gym, in order to create the association.
Now you have your reward.
Of course this will take some thought depending on what you want to make a habit out of. Whatever it is, look to see what could be your incentive, then look to see what your reward could be. Once your habit is embedded, you can gradually reduce the reward and continue without your incentive if you want or need to.
So the point of the post is – you don’t need to rely on your willpower alone to create a positive habit, you just need to understand what drives you and turn that into your incentive and reward to help you through the tough few weeks of creating that habit.
Hope that makes sense – be sure to leave a comment if you agree/disagree or want some help figuring out your own habit making.
I wanted to write a quick post today. I’ve had conversations in the past with people that have said that it’s really difficult to change a belief. It takes a long time and a lot of effort apparently.
So, I wanted to demonstrate that beliefs are a mindset. We can all change our mind in a heartbeat, it might take a long time sometimes to reach that decision, but often it can happen instantly.
So here goes, I’m directing this at all the people that don’t already speak French (I don’t either). Do you BELIEVE that I can teach you 1200 words of French that you will understand in just 10 seconds?
Don’t think so?
OK, set your timer…
Here goes…3, 2, 1…
Every word in French that ends in ‘ion’ is the same in English, spelt the same, means the same. (There are a handful exceptions [that’s not one] but a handful out of 1200 is pretty good going.)
There you go, you now know and understand 1200 words in French.
I’m not saying every belief can be changed that quickly, it’ll change from person to person. But, by changing your Mindset you can change your beliefs, and when you change your beliefs you can change your life.
There’s about 31 hours left (at the time of writing this) and still a few spaces available to get my 90 Day ‘Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life‘ Program absolutely Free. This is what Claire H. said about the Program:
“I have been on and off antidepressants for 3 years and decided that it was time I tried something else as I had been on a waiting list for CBT and counselling for a very long time in the hope I may be able to come off medication one day. Your program couldn’t have come up at a better time! I was very dubious as, like many people do, I assumed it would be a bit ‘namby pamby’ and hippy-ish. However, I decided to bite the bullet and give it a try. It sounds cheesy but my outlook on life has changed completely. I finally feel in control and no longer feel the need to depend on other people in order to be happy. It is amazing to think that just by changing the way you view things… your outlook on life can change so quickly and radically.”
Go here now to Register before the doors close: http://bit.ly/KfOkRr
My brother-in-law sent me this inspiring video this morning and I had to share it with you.
It really shows that when we apply ourselves, when we believe that we can do something, and then we act – we give ourselves the opportunity to prove it. Age doesn’t have to be a barrier, belief can overcome most obstacles.
By the way – it’s hilarious too!
Thanks Richard for the share.
PS: If you enjoyed this post take a look at the FREE online video series here.
PS: Please share on email or twitter etc. if you want to make someone else laugh! 😀