The Science of Happiness – Tal Ben-Shahar

Want to be happier in 2017?

Hiya,

Take the opportunity today to consider whether your happiness is created by your conditions or the other way around.

‘Happiness is not created as a result of certain conditions, certain conditions are created as a result of happiness.’ Neale Donald Walsch said that and I agree with him. And this applies to all states of mind.

What he means is if you are a happy person then you will create happy conditions around you. A truly happy person doesn’t need the external conditions to be a certain way in order to be happy. Easier said than done right. Of course it is, at first. What’s the big secret then? Well, for me, it’s just to accept what is. Strive for X but be happy with Y. Not getting attached to the outcome.

When I watch a football match I see the two sets of supporters cheering their team on and in the end one team wins and the other loses, usually. The losing supporters are often devastated. Why? Because they are attached to the outcome. They strive for X (their team winning) but they’re not happy with Y (their team losing). They make themselves unhappy.

Take a look today at areas in your life where you might be doing this. And if you think that by adopting this mental state you’ll lose out on the highs in life (like your team winning) think again. You can continue striving as much as you ever did – but now you won’t be so affected by the lows.

(Page 404 December 29th of my book: How To Change Your Life One Day at a Time)

Happy New Year and enjoy 2017

Stu

🙂

And here’s a video that might help of Dr Ilona Boniwell the founder of the European Network of Positive Psychology explaining how to be more happy…

Use Christmas to Make a Change.

Hiya,

We each have a slightly different idea of Christmas, what it means, how it makes us feel etc. But there is one thing that is the same for all of us…

A number of factors will lead us to the feeling of Christmas. I mean, if you went to sleep on November 15th and woke up on Christmas Day I’m betting you wouldn’t feel very Christmassy (apart from the obvious discombobulation!). A set series of experiences will lead you to the eventual feeling.

For some it’s the buying of gifts that makes them ‘feel‘ Christmassy. For others it’s the weather, carol singers, Christmas movies, Christmas songs on the radio or even festive food. For me it’s a combination of all these things. They each add to each other to create a nostalgic, excited state of mind.

So why do I mention this, it’s obvious right?

The point is that ‘any‘ state of mind works the same way. Happy, sad, excited, miserable, disappointed, exhilarated, etc. They all require a set of catalysts: sounds, smells, words, memories, visual cues, physical experiences and so on.

The trick then is to be aware of ‘what‘ cues are creating the feelings you are having. If they are pleasurable feelings then you can actually create them at will by seeking out the cues deliberately. If they are uncomfortable feelings that crop up you can learn to avoid the catalysts that cause them.

Go in to 2017 with a determination to be aware of what is creating the feelings you are having – then decide whether you want more or less of them.

Live more deliberately.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

The Happiness Decision

6 minutes that could change how happy you feel…

The 5 Top Regrets of the Dying

Photo: Algo

Hiya,

One of my Ponders group sent me this a while back and it’s a real show stopper…

The 5 Top Regrets of the Dying

1. I wish I had courageously lived a life true to myself and not one that others expected of me.

2. I wish I had not spent all my life working

3. If only I had gained courage to express how I felt.

4. I wish I had remained in touch with my friends

5. If only I had allowed happiness into my life

 

To read the entire article about the palliative nurse Bronnie Ware go here: http://bit.ly/16X5cLK

(Thanks again for the headsup Louisa)

 

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

Take the opportunity today to do something you’ve been putting off.

Hiya,

Uh-oh! If you’re anything like me that could be a mighty long list. From clearing the garage to swapping that duff lightbulb in the cupboard to cleaning the inside of the car to booking that dentist appointment we all put stuff off.

Well, tackle one of them today. Make it the easiest one if you want, but do one.

You’ll be proud of yourself afterwards.

 

(This is May 30th of my book “How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time” – available on Amazon here: CLICK HERE )

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

PS: It’s also available on Kindle HERE

Happiness = In the Flow

Pic source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)

Hiya,

I’m reading a fascinating book at the moment by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschäppeler titled “The Decision Book“.

It contains 50 models for strategic thinking to help in making decisions.

One of the strategies is understanding how to identify being happy. They quote a study  conducted by US psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (yep, go on – say it out loud).

Mihaly interviewed over a thousand people about what made them happy and used their responses to determine the 5 most common indicators, which were:

1. They were intensely focussed on an activity
2. It was of their own choosing
3. It was not under-challenging (boring) or over-challenging (overwhelming)
4. It had a clear objective
5. Which received immediate feedback

He coined the phrase ‘in the flow‘ to describe that mental state.

The participants that experienced this ‘flow‘ were said to have a profound sense of satisfaction and they lost track of time because they were totally absorbed.

Easy to imagine athletes, musicians, artists etc. reaching this place often but ask yourself when was the last time you experienced all 5 of the above?

If you want to be happier look for projects that will enable this state of mind – and if you employ people or manage people, figure out ways to engage them in tasks that create that outcome. They will be a lot happier and you will undoubtedly create a more productive, creative and content workplace.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

PS: If you enjoyed this please share it on your Facebook page and help someone else find their happiness. 🙂

 

Getting To Grips With Fear And Confusion

Hiya,

This is another extract from my new eBook “Do You Hate Your Job?” which is available for f.ree right now here.

______________________

Getting To Grips With Fear And Confusion

If you do decide to find a new job, new career or start up your own business know that there may well be fear and confusion along the way.

Learn to accept that, learn to understand that growing as a person is happening alongside this journey of following your passion, dream or goal. Sometimes you have to take the hit. If you want to go into events planning but don’t have the experience, why not get a job just helping other planners set their events up and learn how they do it from the ground up.

If you feel totally stuck or paralysed by fear or doubt – get calm. Sit still, breathe deeply and slowly and reconnect with your intuition, excitement, creativity and imagination. Trust yourself.

Accept that you won’t know all the answers, accept that you will have to take risks and above all accept that you may fail along the way. This is part of the journey. If it was easy everyone would do it – but they don’t. This is the road less travelled, this is the path to success, the difficult path but the one that leads to more fulfillment, contentedness, happiness, joy and ultimately life.

I did it, in fact I’m still doing it. Yes, I still have doubts and fears and I still find myself procrastinating from time to time. But at least now I’m aware of what’s going on and how to change it.

And remember to give yourself a break. It’s normal to be afraid, it’s normal to be unsure. Rather than chastise yourself for these negative feelings, acknowledge them. Sit with them for a while. Listen to what they’re trying to tell you. Then question if you agree with them or not.

Feelings are natural – accept them, allow them. If you want to know the strategies and tactics to change them… read on.

______________________

Here’s a great tactic for alleviating fear which I learned recently from Cameron Von St James and his incredible wife Heather.

Eight years ago, Heather was diagnosed with mesothelioma; a rare cancer that kills most people within 2 years of diagnosis.

Each year, they gather around a fire in their backyard with their friends and family, write their biggest fears on a plate and smash them into the fire. This symbolic gesture actually has a powerful psychological effect on our psyche. It says: ‘I don’t want these fear feelings and I’m ready to destroy them.‘

They call this ‘LungLeavin Day‘ due to the operation that Heather had to endure. To find out more about this inspiring family and the help they offer others go here.

Grab your F.REE copy of my book “Do You Hate Your Job?“right now here.

Enjoy

Stu

PS: Help someone you know that might hate their job by sending them this blog post – it might just change their life!

Do You Hate Your Job?

Get your copy TODAY!

Stuart Young, London, UK

Hiya,

Today is the day!

You can grab your F.REE copy of my new eBook “Do You Hate Your Job?” right here.

It’s subtitled: “How To Decide If You Can Fall Back In Love With Your Job Or Whether It’s Time To Quit.”

It’s complimentary to my Ponders group and my blog subscribers for a full 2 weeks before going on sale on Kindle.

What this book will help you discover:

According to Deloitte’s recent Shift Index survey, 80% of people are actually dissatisfied with their job. They hate going to work most days.

If you’re still reading I guess that includes You. What a way to live – I should know, because I was in that situation for the best part of a decade. I felt like I had no options, like I was trapped. And even if I did find another job I’d be worse off.

This sucked all the enjoyment out of my work and I spent my days watching the clock whilst juggling 101 urgent things that needed to be done.

I also fell into the trap of hardly ever getting away from it – and even when I did take a holiday, I felt obligated to stay in contact whilst I was away. Crazy I know – but I bet this happens to a lot of people.

If this is ringing alarm bells with you this book will help you discover:

• 1. If you are in the wrong job
• 2. An understanding of your options
• 3. The best way to make a big decision
• 4. What your fears and doubts are based on, and…
• 5. How changing your Mindset will help you plan ahead

It’s a pretty succinct little book which aims to take you from where you are right now to a place of greater clarity about what you want and how to explore if you can get it.

Grab your F.REE copy right now here.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

PS: Help someone you know that might hate their job by sending them this blog post – it might just change their life!

How easy is it to brightens someone day?

This is September 19th of my book:  ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At ATime‘.

Take the opportunity today to bake some biscuits or a cake and give to a neighbour.

You ever had a neighbour come around to yours with a freshly baked cake or some biscuits? It’s great isn’t it? Even if you haven’t, can you imagine how nice it would be?

Pass that on to someone else today – if you can’t bake or don’t have the time, buy a little pack of something from the shop and put them on your nicest plate and present them to a neighbour.

You’ll brighten their day! (And your own.)

“ Let’s face it it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me! ” – Audrey Hepburn

Enjoy

Stu

PS: Get my F.REE daily thought provoking  ’Ponders, Quotes and Questions‘ emails by visiting my NEW blog and putting your email in the box you’ll see there, click here: http://howtochangeyourlifeblog.com

PPS: BUY the BOOK, OR someone else, get a copy of my book right here on Amazon: http://amzn.to/1ahfW7R (you’ll see my listing right at the top – it’s the cheapest place to get copies at the moment and YES they’re brand new AND signed).
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