Tag Archives: happiness
Take the opportunity today to consider whether your happiness is created by your conditions or the other way around.
‘Happiness is not created as a result of certain conditions, certain conditions are created as a result of happiness.’ Neale Donald Walsch said that and I agree with him. And this applies to all states of mind.
What he means is if you are a happy person then you will create happy conditions around you. A truly happy person doesn’t need the external conditions to be a certain way in order to be happy. Easier said than done right. Of course it is, at first. What’s the big secret then? Well, for me, it’s just to accept what is. Strive for X but be happy with Y. Not getting attached to the outcome.
When I watch a football match I see the two sets of supporters cheering their team on and in the end one team wins and the other loses, usually. The losing supporters are often devastated. Why? Because they are attached to the outcome. They strive for X (their team winning) but they’re not happy with Y (their team losing). They make themselves unhappy.
Take a look today at areas in your life where you might be doing this. And if you think that by adopting this mental state you’ll lose out on the highs in life (like your team winning) think again. You can continue striving as much as you ever did – but now you won’t be so affected by the lows.
(Page 404 December 29th of my book: How To Change Your Life One Day at a Time)
Happy New Year and enjoy 2017
And here’s a video that might help of Dr Ilona Boniwell the founder of the European Network of Positive Psychology explaining how to be more happy…
We each have a slightly different idea of Christmas, what it means, how it makes us feel etc. But there is one thing that is the same for all of us…
A number of factors will lead us to the feeling of Christmas. I mean, if you went to sleep on November 15th and woke up on Christmas Day I’m betting you wouldn’t feel very Christmassy (apart from the obvious discombobulation!). A set series of experiences will lead you to the eventual feeling.
For some it’s the buying of gifts that makes them ‘feel‘ Christmassy. For others it’s the weather, carol singers, Christmas movies, Christmas songs on the radio or even festive food. For me it’s a combination of all these things. They each add to each other to create a nostalgic, excited state of mind.
So why do I mention this, it’s obvious right?
The point is that ‘any‘ state of mind works the same way. Happy, sad, excited, miserable, disappointed, exhilarated, etc. They all require a set of catalysts: sounds, smells, words, memories, visual cues, physical experiences and so on.
The trick then is to be aware of ‘what‘ cues are creating the feelings you are having. If they are pleasurable feelings then you can actually create them at will by seeking out the cues deliberately. If they are uncomfortable feelings that crop up you can learn to avoid the catalysts that cause them.
Go in to 2017 with a determination to be aware of what is creating the feelings you are having – then decide whether you want more or less of them.
Live more deliberately.
6 minutes that could change how happy you feel…
Uh-oh! If you’re anything like me that could be a mighty long list. From clearing the garage to swapping that duff lightbulb in the cupboard to cleaning the inside of the car to booking that dentist appointment we all put stuff off.
Well, tackle one of them today. Make it the easiest one if you want, but do one.
You’ll be proud of yourself afterwards.
(This is May 30th of my book “How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time” – available on Amazon here: CLICK HERE )
PS: It’s also available on Kindle HERE
I’m reading a fascinating book at the moment by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschäppeler titled “The Decision Book“.
It contains 50 models for strategic thinking to help in making decisions.
One of the strategies is understanding how to identify being happy. They quote a study conducted by US psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (yep, go on – say it out loud).
Mihaly interviewed over a thousand people about what made them happy and used their responses to determine the 5 most common indicators, which were:
- They were intensely focussed on an activity
- It was of their own choosing
- It was not under-challenging (boring) or over-challenging (overwhelming)
- It had a clear objective
- Which received immediate feedback
He coined the phrase ‘in the flow‘ to describe that mental state.
The participants that experienced this ‘flow‘ were said to have a profound sense of satisfaction and they lost track of time because they were totally absorbed.
Easy to imagine athletes, musicians, artists etc. reaching this place often but ask yourself when was the last time you experienced all 5 of the above?
If you want to be happier look for projects that will enable this state of mind – and if you employ people or manage people, figure out ways to engage them in tasks that create that outcome. They will be a lot happier and you will undoubtedly create a more productive, creative and content workplace.
PS: If you enjoyed this please share it on your Facebook page and help someone else find their happiness. 🙂