Why You’ll Always Be Dissatisfied – And That’s Good News!

At first glance that headline seems a bit controversial don’t you think? Well hopefully I’m going to convince you that not only is it accurate but by the end of this article you’ll accept it willingly.

I was dissatisfied

A few years ago I was dissatisfied with the career I had made, I was managing a company but not in control of the company. My ideas for expanding it were always met with negativity by the owner. I’d created a comfortable, albeit stressful, position for myself, where I had complete autonomy. I ran the day to day business my way and the team I had were great. Unfortunately there was nowhere left for me to go within the company and I didn’t want to work my way up in another company and lose the authority I already enjoyed.

                                  Something had to change!

I had to overcome my fear and go it alone, start my own business – from scratch. It was something I’d dreamed of many times but I was afraid to try in case I failed and jeopardised what I already had. Over a period of a few years I became frustrated enough to finally give it a go. My dissatisfaction drove me forward, spurred me on. Thankfully, it was the best decision I ever made.

I wasn’t unhappy though

Here’s the thing though, at no point was I ever actually unhappy. I was happy that I had a secure job. I was happy that I had control over my daily activities with virtually no-one to answer to. I was happy that my team were hard working and conscientious. I was happy that I had a nice home and plenty of time to spend with friends. But I was dissatisfied I was not moving forward, not pursuing my goals and dreams.

I discovered

When I became a student of Bob Proctor’s ‘Goal Achiever’s‘ Program I discovered the difference between Satisfaction and Happiness. It’s held me in good stead ever since. Dissatisfaction is the driving force behind improvements. When we are dissatisfied with the performance of a product or service we look to improve it. This is an ongoing process as nothing exists that is perfect – not even life. Life is continually evolving, adapting to it’s circumstances – improving. No tool or gadget that you own has reached a point where it can’t be improved.

How to use dissatisfaction

So, if you find yourself dissatisfied with any part of your life – welcome it! Realise it for what it is, a sign that you need to make a change, an improvement, maybe even a complete rethink. Making that decision might be challenging but at least you know a decision needs to be made. However, strive to find the happiness in everything. Getting back in touch with gratitude can help remind us of all the things we can be happy about despite our dissatisfaction.

I hope that convinces you that dissatisfaction is your internal friend urging you onwards.

Enjoy

Stu

Man being divorced? – to get practical help and support visit my Divorced Men Rise Up and Be Proud FB Group here

The Happiness Decision

6 minutes that could change how happy you feel…

Hiya,

When was the last time you stopped and really evaluated where you are headed and why?

It’s possible things have changed since you set yourself on your present course.

Maybe it’s time for a course correction, a deviation onto a slightly different path. Maybe an about turn altogether.

How will you know?

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

Getting To Grips With Fear And Confusion

Hiya,

This is an excerpt from my book: “Do You Hate Your Job?” – I re-read it today because I am feeling some of these feelings at the moment and this helped. To get a free pdf copy of my book see instructions at the bottom…

“If you do decide to find a new job, new career or start up your own business know that there may well be fear and confusion along the way.

Learn to accept that, learn to understand that growing as a person is happening alongside this journey of following your passion, dream or goal. Sometimes you have to take the hit. If you want to go into events planning but don’t have the experience, why not get a job just helping other planners set their events up and learn how they do it from the ground up.

If you feel totally stuck or paralysed by fear or doubt – get calm. Sit still, breathe deeply and slowly and reconnect with your intuition, excitement, creativity and imagination. Trust yourself.

Accept that you won’t know all the answers, accept that you will have to take risks and above all accept that you may fail along the way. This is part of the journey. If it was easy everyone would do it – but they don’t. This is the road less travelled, this is the path to success, the difficult path but the one that leads to more fulfillment, contentedness, happiness, joy and ultimately life.

I did it, in fact I’m still doing it. Yes, I still have doubts and fears and I still find myself procrastinating from time to time. But at least now I’m aware of what’s going on and how to change it.

And remember to give yourself a break. It’s normal to be afraid, it’s normal to be unsure. Rather than chastise yourself for these negative feel- ings, acknowledge them. Sit with them for a while. Listen to what they’re trying to tell you. Then question if you agree with them or not.

Feelings are natural – accept them, allow them. If you want to know the strategies and tactics to change them… read on.”

To read the whole book simply email me at:  stuart.young40@googlemail.com  with “Send me the book” in the subject line and I’ll send it to you direct, no strings, no endless emails trying to sell you something. Promise!

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

Happy New Year…Or is it?

Photo: http://lolimages.funvblog.com

Hiya,

For the last few days I’ve found myself short tempered. Hair-triggered, if you know what I mean. Flaring up into a near rage over the tiniest things.

I then went on to ask myself the exact wrong question: Why am I short tempered at the moment?

It’s the wrong question because I already know my mind is going to find valid answers for ‘why’ I should be ill tempered; the dogs made a mess of the house, I couldn’t find what I needed in the cupboard because we have too much stuff, etc.

You may be feeling angry, or disappointed, or depressed, or confused at the moment too but feel that you ‘should’ be happier – after all..it’s Happy New Year, right?

Then this morning, whilst walking one of our dogs in the January drizzle I remembered the lesson I learned from Paul & Layne Cutright – “You’re Never Upset for the Reason You Think You Are”.

Suddenly, it became obvious.

The very thing I like to help others find: clarity, was the one thing I was searching for myself. Ironic.

I am in the process of expanding a particular business interest at the moment but had not gotten clear about ‘how’ I was going to proceed. Because I was confused I distracted myself from the task of getting clear.

This realisation immediately filled me with a sense of calm, the tension in my muscles physically lessened and I set about putting the process into action.

The rest of today I’ll be getting clearer and clearer about what I am going to do moving forwards, and just as importantly, what I’m not going to do in this new year.

Tip: If you are feeling a bit low at the moment instead of asking yourself why you feel low, ask – what will make me feel brighter, happier, excited?

And finally: Dan Rockwell recently wrote a blog post titled: Getting the Most From Anger. He suggested: When you feel angry, stop and observe yourself. Ask, will I be proud of what happens next?

Enjoy, get clear

Stu

🙂

Still Hate Your Job?

Hate Your Job? Listen now…

Hiya,

I recently did an interview with Rebecca Gordon from the Coaching Lounge where we discussed what to do if you hate your job. Take a listen right here:

 

 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Scroll down to the second interview…

 

Decide You Can…

First decide you Can, then believe You will.

You Can

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

What do you need to stop doing?

Photo: http://newsnowdc.com/

Hiya,

Ever heard of ‘sunk cost fallacy’?

It’s the psychology of continuing with an endeavour even though it may be fruitless simply because you have invested so much time in it already.

Even when we know the outcome will not be satisfying we continue so as not to feel that the time and effort already invested has not been wasted. Yet to add more time and effort is to add to that waste.

Consider today what do you need to stop doing?

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

HERE

The 3 types of Procrastination

Which type are You?

Hiya,

One of my Ponders group does a daily blog and linked to a fascinating article on procrastinators a while back.

Apparently, people procrastinate for different reasons. Dr. Ferrari, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at De Paul University in Chicago identifies three basic types of procrastinators:

1. Arousal types, or thrill-seekers, who wait to the last minute for the euphoric rush.
2. Avoiders, who may be avoiding fear of failure or even fear of success, but in either case are very concerned with what others think of them; they would rather have others think they lack effort than ability.
3. Decisional procrastinators, who cannot make a decision. Not making a decision absolves procrastinators of responsibility for the outcome of events.

To read the full post and article on procrastination click here: http://bit.ly/1hPNHzk

(Thanks again Tina)

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

PS: If you’d like to receive my no cost daily thought provoking “Ponders, Quotes and Questions” emails simply email me at: stuart@HowToChangeYourLifeOneDayAtATime.com and I’ll add you right on.

How to change your belief about something.

Hiya,

Changing your beliefs can be a bit tricky. Our beliefs are in charge of our decisions. If you want to change your decision making process you need to take a good look at your beliefs.

Take some time to consider what influences you are allowing to affect your beliefs. What papers are you reading? What news stations are you watching or listening to? What do your friends and family believe about certain things?

All these have influence over what you believe.

What beliefs do you have that are either the same as or in contradiction to your parents or even grandparents? Many people will reject the beliefs of these authority figures as a form of rebellion. Those beliefs may become ingrained although years later you may actually believe differently. So how do you know? You need to ask delving questions like:

• ‘Why do I believe [xyz]?’ and
• ‘Am I sure that my belief in [xyz] is sound?’ or
• ‘What evidence do I have for believing [xyz]?’

It’s possible to change a belief in an instant, as with many other changes, it’s the getting ready that takes the time.

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

PS: This is page 250 of my book ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time‘ still available from Amazon right here: CLICK HERE FOR PAPERBACK

And Kindle right here: CLICK HERE FOR KINDLE COPY

 

                       CLICK HERE