Tag Archives: boss

Does accepting stop you changing?

JULY 29th of  ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time’.

Take the opportunity today to accept things the way they are. It doesn’t stop you changing them.

There’s a psychological process that we all suffer from on occasion: Attachment.

Attachment is the holding on to an outcome of some kind. Let’s say you’re trying to get a new job and you see the perfect position for you advertised in the paper. You apply and you get an interview. The interview goes well and they say they’ll let you know within a week if you have the job. Meantime your boss in your present job rubs you up the wrong way and you begin to ‘hope’ that you get the new position. This hope is fine up until the point when you get a phone call or letter saying unfortunately you didn’t get the job. At that point your mood sinks, you become depressed at the thought of going in to work the next day.

You become miserable at the thought of being stuck in a job you hate.

You have become ‘attached’ to the outcome of getting a new job. You have made your happiness dependant on getting that position and when that doesn’t happen you spiral into a bad mood.

The healthier thing to do is ‘accept’ the situation. Just accept that you didn’t get that job and continue looking for another position. Accept that until you find another job you’ll have to keep working at your present one. You’re still looking to change that situation. But through accepting it you can remain calm and focused.

A lot of upset in our lives is caused by our attachment to outcomes whether it’s being stuck in traffic which is making us late for something, or builders not turning up when they agreed which means your kitchen won’t be fitted today, or whether the person you wanted to ask for a date is now going out with someone else.

They are all attachments to the outcome. Some are harder to accept than others but practice will help. Start today accepting things the way they are and the way they turn out, then, continue trying to change them. Calmly and with determined focus.

Remember: we can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we react to it.




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Filed under Change Job, Goals, Life changing, Relationships, Self help, Self Improvement, Success

Obstacles = Opportunities


Following on from my last post How To Change Jobs – I suggested you make a skills & opportunities list.

I want to help that process along a bit more because I know how important it is for gaining clarity to your next step.

When I quit my job 10 years ago I had considered what else I could do by creating one of these long opportunities lists. I even had ‘Litter Picker’ on my list – seriously! I had written everything I could think of that I could do. It didn’t matter how dumb it seemed or how menial – I wanted to exit my job so bad I considered anything!

I made this video a while back which will help you figure out what some of your opportunities might be (sorry about the bad lighting).

So continue for a couple more days adding to your list. As promised, in my next post I’ll explain what to do with it.




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Filed under Change Job, Confidence, Goals, Life changing, Self help, Self Improvement, Success

How To Change Jobs


In the last post here we discussed how you can change how you feel about your job, please take time to read it if you haven’t already. Can you fall in love with your job (Pt.3) 

In today’s post I’m going to cover the very first thing that needs to happen if you do decide to move to another job, company or career – and especially if you want to start your own business.

How to Change Jobs

So whether you want to change your job or change the company you work for, or start your own business there’s ONE thing you absolutely must do – Change Your Mindset.

Most people think their qualifications or skills or network are the most important factors in creating the career of their dreams, WRONG! It’s our Mindset that determines the results we get in life. Your Mindset is made up of your beliefs, past experiences and associations you have about those experiences – good or bad!

You may not even realise how your Mindset has sabotaged you in the past or how it might continue to do so in the future. A great indicator of your Mindset is your life. If your life reflects all of your hopes and dreams and you are fulfilled and content, then I bet you have a great Mindset. If however, you look at your life and see areas that need definite improvement, then a shift in your Mindset is what’s required.

The good thing is the present state of your life is a result of who you ‘were‘ not who you ‘are‘ or ‘can be‘.

How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time

How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time provides a simple guide each day for an entire year that will help you shift your Mindset and improve ANY area of your life whether that’s your job, your relationships, your health, your achievements or anything else.

It’s a collection of all the learnings I’ve received over the last 20+ years on my journey of self improvement (which is ongoing) – many of which led me 10 years ago to get out of the rat race, start my own company, become a successful artist, a property investor and an author amongst other things.

If I can create the lifestyle I always dreamed of by changing my Mindset – YOU can too!

What are your options?

I suggest one exercise from the book – write an opportunities list. Get a pad or blank sheet of paper and over the next week write down every skill you have and then turn those skills into opportunities. Don’t worry if you’re not an expert at something, and remember to consider ALL of the things you have some skill at – you don’t have to think about doing that thing as a full-time job. And include them even if you think you’d never want to earn money at it – just for the moment.

It will take at least a week to exhaust all of your skills/opportunities – talk with family members and close friends – they will be a mine of useful suggestions. You should aim to have at least 30 items on your list.

Consider things like:

Your present job – could be happier doing this in another company

Spin-offs of my present job – could do another aspect of my job in another company

Able to cook – could work in a restaurant or cafe

An interest in writing – could write articles for magazines or information books

Coaching kids sports – could offer one to one tuition

Clean driving license – could drive a taxi, courier van, limo etc.

Experience in volunteer group – could work for a charity

Love to paint – could sell art to galleries, art shops etc.

Good at DIY – could become a handyman/woman

Very organised – could become a PA

The list is waaaay bigger than you will first imagine. As it grows, so will your excitement and confidence that you can get away from the job you’re in. This in turn will shift your Mindset about the possibilities in front of you.

In my next post I’ll explain what to do with that list of opportunities.

Stay tuned



PS: Free online video training series here: CLICK HERE sign up and get my daily ‘Ponders Quotes and Questions‘ thought provoking emails automatically.

PPS: My ‘Change Your Mindset, Change Your Life‘ 90 Day Program is available as a complimentary bonus when you buy a copy of the book see here for details – offer ends 31st May.


Filed under Change Job, Confidence, Goals, Life changing, Self help, Self Improvement, Success

Can you fall in love with your job? (Pt.2)

Why Does Your Job Bother You?

Believe me, it’s very rarely the money although most of us think that’s a big factor.

If you haven’t already read yesterday’s post Can you fall in love with your job? please do – it only takes 2 minutes, and sets the scene for this one.

So, once you’ve written your list of what bothers you, read it a few of times over the next 24 hours as this will help you understand the ‘why’ behind each one. The real ‘why’ – not just because it annoys you, or undermines you, or doesn’t pay well, but rather, see if there is a more emotional reason – such as it reminds you of a time when you were bullied as a child, or reminds you of someone saying you weren’t good enough or trying hard enough.

These associations can have powerful effects on our state of mind, and we can often blow things out of proportion because of them. We all need to be really honest with ourselves as we explore this. A bad association from the past can leave a hair trigger in our subconscious if we let it.

Considering these three questions about why you chose your job will help:

1.Is this the job you dreamed of as a kid?

2. Is this something you stumbled into or maybe were groomed for by a parent or sibling?

3. Did you choose this job just because you needed the work?

If it was what you dreamed of, then in what ways is it not working out as you planned or hoped? It might be the people, maybe some difficult aspects of the work you hadn’t considered, or is it the working environment you don’t like?

If it is something you’ve stumbled or been coerced into, then is it what YOU really want. Who are you trying to please and why? What would happen if you decided to quit?

If it’s just a job because you needed to DO something, what would have to change for you to love it? Are there aspects of it that you do like?

Exploring the answers to these three questions could make it clear ‘why’ you’re dissatisfied right now. Read your list of what bothers you and ask ‘Why does that bother me?’ after each one. Your subconscious will offer up reason after reason, and it probably won’t be the first thing you think of. So as you come up with a reason ask again: ‘Why does THAT bother me?’ and so on until you happen upon a reason that really makes sense. A core reason.

For me I started by thinking that the long hours were what bothered me, then the pressure of constant deadlines, then the interference from my boss in the planning.

As I continued asking ‘why’, all reasons came back to my feeling stifled creatively, and not feeling like I was in control of my own destiny.

Hopefully this exercise will help you discover ‘why’ your present job bothers you and tomorrow we’ll go on to the last part of this article: How You Can Change It.




Related posts:

Can you fall in love with your job? (Pt.1)

Can you fall in love with your job (Pt. 3)


Filed under Change Job, Confidence, Goals, Life changing, Self help, Self Improvement, Success