Getting over self doubt

Hiya,

What little voice in your head fills you with doubt?

Once you identify it, trace back to where it originated. Was it a critical parent or teacher?

Was it the bullying voices of peers. Over protective friends or family?

Once you know the origin ask yourself if there is any evidence to prove it might be correct.

My guess is that whatever evidence there may have been in the past is not valid now. Spend some time finding evidence to the contrary. It will dilute that doubt.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

The Psychology of Self-Motivation

Hiya,

Do you ever wonder why you just can’t get certain things done in your life. You know you want to but for some reason you always find something else to do instead.

Watch this short TED Talk – it may just throw some light on Why.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

Happy New Year…Or is it?

Photo: http://lolimages.funvblog.com

Hiya,

For the last few days I’ve found myself short tempered. Hair-triggered, if you know what I mean. Flaring up into a near rage over the tiniest things.

I then went on to ask myself the exact wrong question: Why am I short tempered at the moment?

It’s the wrong question because I already know my mind is going to find valid answers for ‘why’ I should be ill tempered; the dogs made a mess of the house, I couldn’t find what I needed in the cupboard because we have too much stuff, etc.

You may be feeling angry, or disappointed, or depressed, or confused at the moment too but feel that you ‘should’ be happier – after all..it’s Happy New Year, right?

Then this morning, whilst walking one of our dogs in the January drizzle I remembered the lesson I learned from Paul & Layne Cutright – “You’re Never Upset for the Reason You Think You Are”.

Suddenly, it became obvious.

The very thing I like to help others find: clarity, was the one thing I was searching for myself. Ironic.

I am in the process of expanding a particular business interest at the moment but had not gotten clear about ‘how’ I was going to proceed. Because I was confused I distracted myself from the task of getting clear.

This realisation immediately filled me with a sense of calm, the tension in my muscles physically lessened and I set about putting the process into action.

The rest of today I’ll be getting clearer and clearer about what I am going to do moving forwards, and just as importantly, what I’m not going to do in this new year.

Tip: If you are feeling a bit low at the moment instead of asking yourself why you feel low, ask – what will make me feel brighter, happier, excited?

And finally: Dan Rockwell recently wrote a blog post titled: Getting the Most From Anger. He suggested: When you feel angry, stop and observe yourself. Ask, will I be proud of what happens next?

Enjoy, get clear

Stu

🙂

Do you see a storm approaching?

When a storm is approaching what do you do?

Look for shelter or prepare to get wet?

What do you do?

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

PS: This was today’s Ponder to my Ponders, Quotes and Questions group.

If you’d like to receive these Ponders daily direct to your email inbox at no cost, just email me at stuart@HowToChangeYourLifeOneDayAtATime.com

What do you need to stop doing?

Photo: http://newsnowdc.com/

Hiya,

Ever heard of ‘sunk cost fallacy’?

It’s the psychology of continuing with an endeavour even though it may be fruitless simply because you have invested so much time in it already.

Even when we know the outcome will not be satisfying we continue so as not to feel that the time and effort already invested has not been wasted. Yet to add more time and effort is to add to that waste.

Consider today what do you need to stop doing?

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

HERE

A message of Hope…

What this world really needs is more Hope.

Take a moment to listen to the words from this enlightened young man.

Let’s all be the change.

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

The importance of self awareness.

Learn self awareness

Hiya,

In Anthony De Mello’s book ‘Awareness’ he states:

“Self-observation means to watch everything in you and around you as far as possible and watch it as if it were happening to someone else. It means that you do not personalize what is happening to you. It means that you look at things as if you have no connection with them whatsoever.”

I think what he was getting at is we can choose how we feel about any circumstance at any moment by adopting this thought process. It’s similar to NLP’s disassociation technique.

If you distance yourself from the negative feelings you can be more objective about what the situation actually means. “Seeing it as it is – NOT worse than it is” as Tony Robbins would say.

But also, distancing yourself from positive feelings and neutral feelings as well can be equally fruitful. With practice we can see that at any moment we can ‘choose’ to feel however we wish just by thinking it. Sounds implausible at first doesn’t it? As I said – it takes practice.

Try it today and see how your experience, good or bad, alters.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

PS: To learn more about changing your mindset to bring more happiness, success and wellbeing into your life take a look at this

Take the opportunity today to thank everybody from your past because of where you are today and where you will be tomorrow.

Every season has it’s time

Hiya,

You do realise that everything that has ever happened to you, good or bad, has brought you to where you are today.

You may be in a great place right now, so think if any tiny little thing in your past were different it would have changed your trajectory and you may well be in a very different place right now rather than where you are.

All those not so good places were necessary in order for you to be here.

If you’re not in such a great place just realise that you are in one of those not so good places that will lead you to the great place later. So appreciate it for what it is.

Why only appreciate it later? Thank everything and everybody from your past for helping to get you here. Thank ‘here’ for being part of the journey that’s going to get you ‘there’ in the future.

And always remember… in the depths of winter the blossom is waiting to bloom.

Who will you thank, and for what?

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

PS: This is p.358 of my book ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time‘.

Do You Know The 4 Most Important Questions To Changing?

Crossing the River

Hiya,

A while back when I was getting ready to launch my book ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time‘ I decided to create a street video to help promote it.

I had only one question that I wanted to ask of many complete strangers: WHAT ONE THING YOU WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?

I wanted to document how different people would answer the same question, based on their own lives and circumstances. What I found was in many, many cases their answer led me to ask another question, then another, then a final question. (A process I now call ‘Crossing The River‘).

It was in these instances that those asked gave the most considered responses, delving deeper and deeper into the issue. In many cases they actually answered the most penetrating question they had probably been asked in years, if not decades.

They were as surprised by their answers as I was.

Remarkable considering that not one interview took more than two minutes to complete, AND they were complete strangers to me!

Many wanted to change things about their appearance, some about bad habits they had and some about the way they thought about themselves or others. I was moved and surprised at just how candid these people were, how open. I sincerely hope that some of them went home that day and actually made the change they said they wanted.

So what are the four questions you MUST ask yourself if you want to make any change in your life, whether it’s to do with your relationships, your achievements, your lifestyle, your health, wealth and happiness or your career?

Bare in mind the change MUST be about YOU – not your boss, or your neighbour, or the economy or anything else that you cannot influence.

Get Help

Let me suggest that you get someone else to ask you these questions – a close friend or family member or even a colleague. Answer the first one before getting them to ask the second. Then answer that before they ask you the third, and so on.

Answer as quickly as possible too as this is where the revelation is, when your mind doesn’t have time to dwell on and possibly filter the answer. It doesn’t take long – as I said, of the 30 or so interviews I did on that cold day in February, not one took longer than two minutes!

Crossing The River

Here are the 4 questions:

1. What is the ONE thing you’d like to change about YOURSELF today? (This is not about your circumstances, this is about YOU.)

2. Why do you want to make that change?

3. How will you make that change?

4. What’s stopping you?

Make a note of them, then forget about them until you have chosen someone to help you with this insightful exercise. If you decide you want to do them on your own then answer the first question NOW. Quick – answer!

To see the video CLICK HERE – it’s 9 min 41 long, I hope you enjoy.

Take care

Stu

                       CLICK HERE

Overcoming Life’s Battles

My comment, his reply

Stuart Young, London, UK

Hiya,

I was chatting with James Arthur Ray, of hit movie ‘The Secret‘ fame the other day. When I say chatting – I mean I commented on his blog post and he replied. 🙂

I’ve been reading his latest ‘Do You Love Life or Fantasy‘ series and I recommend you take a look CLICK HERE

If you’re not familiar with James then Google him, but believe me when I say he’s been through the biggest battle of his life recently.

How we ‘think‘ at difficult times is THE KEY to moving through the experience, and coming out the other side more swiftly and with hope for a brighter future.

His posts led me to formulate a process called The 3 ‘A’s:-

1. Accept – What is, not more or less, just What IS. How we’re feeling is valid. Accept that.
2. Acknowledge – How it got that way – honestly. IE: Take responsibility for whatever part you may have played, and you almost invariably have.
3. Ask – Question what all of that means, and ask how you move forwards.

James has his own variation where he adds another two ‘A’s – Act and Adjust.

If you’ve been through a battle recently, or are in the midst of one now – consider these today. And please take a look at James’ blog posts, they’re insightful.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

                       CLICK HERE