Tag Archives: accept

How to change negative beliefs

Blackboard with banish negative beliefs written on it

Banishing Negative Beliefs

Hiya,

Below is a 6 step negative belief buster process…

Possibly the number one reason people do not reach their goals, or even attempt to reach them in many cases is – negative beliefs.

If you fall in to that category then in this post I aim to give you some tactics to move past them.

#1 Identify them – seems obvious but a lot of the time you may be completely unaware of your own negative beliefs. Ask yourself what is holding you back, what is stopping you reach your goals at the moment?

The answer to this question will reveal a reason or maybe a whole raft of reasons. These reasons are negative beliefs. Whoa! I here you say – these are valid reasons, and they may seem totally valid.

I don’t have the money, I was born in the wrong country, my family needs me, I’m not physically able etc, etc. Sound familiar?

#2 Find evidence that supports them – imagine you were someone else asking you for evidence, what would you say?

Look at my bank account, see, no money. I was born into poverty, this is a poor area in a poor country. I am the only bread winner in the family I can’t go off chasing my dreams.”…you get the idea.

#3 Now identify the meaning of that evidence – does it mean you are destined to remain where you are? Is it fate? Is it God’s plan for you? You weren’t lucky enough to be born with the right circumstances, etc.

#4 Now question if there could be another meaning – maybe it means you have to find your own path to your goals despite the obstacles. Maybe that challenge is the process that will give you the fulfillment. Maybe you are afraid of failing or possibly of the effort that will be required.

#5 Identify the fear – there almost undoubtedly is one. If you can understand what it is, you can deal with it. Fears of this type are usually a challenge to us, they are saying ‘How much do you want this?

#6 Mitigate the fear – find ways to reduce the risk of failure – eg: learn whatever you need to, model what others have done to achieve it, learn to accept failure as part of the journey.

Example:

Imagine a  kid learning to ride bike. First, they say they can’t ride (negative belief). Why can’t they? Because they fell off when they tried (evidence). What did that mean? They can’t ride (meaning). Really, could there be another meaning – like they have to do it over and over before they’ll succeed (alternative meaning). But it hurts (fear). So they should wear a helmet and knee & elbow pads (mitigate fear).

Summary

Whatever your negative belief find someone that has overcome it. Model what they did. If you can’t find someone that did what you want to do, find someone that did something for the first time and model how they did that. You could be the first with your goal. Biographies are a mine of information – read up on those you admire.

It all starts with realising that your belief can be changed. The second step is deciding that you are going to make that change. Remember the 6 keys to success in any area:

#1 Have a clear goal

#2 Understand why you want that

#3 Understand the price of getting that

#4 Decide to pay the price

#5 Pay the price

#6 Keep monitoring how you are doing

 

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

Related posts:

What If You Could?

Making Big Decisions

PS: If you still want to get a copy of “Do You Hate Your Job?” you can get it on Kindle for less than £2 or a pdf copy at no cost right here: FREE Copy

Change Your Mindset,

CLICK HERE

3 Comments

Filed under Goals, Life changing, Success

Does accepting stop you changing?

JULY 29th of  ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time’.

Take the opportunity today to accept things the way they are. It doesn’t stop you changing them.

There’s a psychological process that we all suffer from on occasion: Attachment.

Attachment is the holding on to an outcome of some kind. Let’s say you’re trying to get a new job and you see the perfect position for you advertised in the paper. You apply and you get an interview. The interview goes well and they say they’ll let you know within a week if you have the job. Meantime your boss in your present job rubs you up the wrong way and you begin to ‘hope’ that you get the new position. This hope is fine up until the point when you get a phone call or letter saying unfortunately you didn’t get the job. At that point your mood sinks, you become depressed at the thought of going in to work the next day.

You become miserable at the thought of being stuck in a job you hate.

You have become ‘attached’ to the outcome of getting a new job. You have made your happiness dependant on getting that position and when that doesn’t happen you spiral into a bad mood.

The healthier thing to do is ‘accept’ the situation. Just accept that you didn’t get that job and continue looking for another position. Accept that until you find another job you’ll have to keep working at your present one. You’re still looking to change that situation. But through accepting it you can remain calm and focused.

A lot of upset in our lives is caused by our attachment to outcomes whether it’s being stuck in traffic which is making us late for something, or builders not turning up when they agreed which means your kitchen won’t be fitted today, or whether the person you wanted to ask for a date is now going out with someone else.

They are all attachments to the outcome. Some are harder to accept than others but practice will help. Start today accepting things the way they are and the way they turn out, then, continue trying to change them. Calmly and with determined focus.

Remember: we can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we react to it.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

PS: Join hundreds of others that receive my FREE thought provoking daily ‘Ponders, Quotes and Questions‘ emails, see here for details: http://howtochangeyourlifeblog.com/

PPS: PLUS if you enjoyed this post Buy yourself, OR someone else, a copy of my book right here on Amazon: http://amzn.to/1ahfW7R (you’ll see my listing right at the top – it’s the cheapest place to get copies at the moment and YES they’re brand new AND signed).
36 GOLD Star reviews so far!

8 Comments

Filed under Change Job, Goals, Life changing, Relationships, Self help, Self Improvement, Success