Category Archives: Success

HOW TO FAIL PROPERLY

Mistake

Have you ever failed at anything?

I have, many, many times with all sorts of things. From marriage to business to striving for certain goals.

Have you ever succeeded at anything?

I have, many, many times with all sorts of things. From marriage to business to striving for certain goals. Hmm, sounds like the first answer. That’s because it is. No I’m not spinning failure into success. I’m being literal, I have failed and I have succeeded – at the same things.

Let me explain…

My first marriage ended after a year – on anyone’s terms that’s a pretty miserable fail, right? Yeah, at the time it was painful and I felt like a miserable failure. But, after a short time me and my ex-wife actually became friends again, initially for the sake of our daughter, but eventually because it made sense to put the past behind us, learn from it, move on – but most importantly for me – to keep what was good about it. Me and my ex were friends first, so it made sense for me to retain that part.

25 years later we’re still friends and I like to think that our daughter benefitted from the ‘good’ relationship we made. And she has grown into a beautiful, kind, loving mother herself now. HUGE Success

Now I’m married again and it’s great. So now I like to think I’m a success at marriage (ask my wife for a true opinion). 🙂

So other failures…

I started my own business and for a few years it was great and I earned some good money. But slowly, slowly the competition got cheaper and my revenue diminished to a point where it now just ticks over. I tried getting in new business but selling wasn’t my strong point so now I concentrate on property investing. It’s been 12 years or more since I started the core business so I’m already in the top 4% of business owners just by continuing to trade for 10 years+, so in some ways I’m a success, but considering how it’s fortunes have gone steadily down you could say it’s more like a failure.

But I keep going, keep trying new things, keep striving and do my best to keep positive.

What else?

At the time I started my business I also started doing abstract paintings and have since sold in excess of 650 originals, albeit at very affordable prices. Success

A few years ago I tried setting up an online business, I got nowhere. Fail

Then I decided to write a self help book, I gave myself one year to write it. I did just that. Success

I self published it and learned a lot about marketing so I could sell it, I even created a 90 day home study course to go along with it. Success

I didn’t get anywhere with it. Fail

After dabbling a bit in business networking I set up my own network group and met lots of interesting people. Success

It didn’t bring me any new business or income streams. Fail

I overcame technical hurdles (and if you know me you know that’s a big deal) to set up blogs like this one and YouTube videos. Success

I reached 2nd Dan Black belt in my chosen martial art and when the club owner retired earlier this year he handed the running of the club over to me. Success

I taught myself how to play the piano and now write my own instrumental pieces. Success

I have written a 12 part children’s book series. Success

I could go on with a long list of successes and failures but my point is, to me, success is an attitude. We don’t know which failures we’ve had in the past might turn into successes, or what lessons they have taught us that might help us with success in the future. So in order to give myself the best chance of success I have to follow the following equation: R+R+HW +D,P&C. Resourcefulness + Resilience + Hard Work + Determination, Persistence & Consistency.

Make sure this resonates with you before adopting it though as there are many sayings and formulas out there that can misleading. One is attributed to Einstein: “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.” However, if you were a door to door salesman and you quit after the first ‘No thanks’ because of Einstein’s quote you’d never get to door 7 where the first buyer of your product is. Or door 18 where your second buyer is, or door 32 where your biggest buyer is.

The lesson is only learned after sufficient energy has been put into something and you’ve learned all you can from the process and only you’ll know when that is. We also have to learn from the ‘No thanks’ in order to maximise a different result further up the metaphorical street.

Will I continue to have failures? Of course. But hopefully my ratio of successes will get larger.

So to answer the headline of this blog: The only way to properly fail is either not to try in the first place or quit trying because of failure. That’s not me and I hope it’s not you either.

So let me ask you this…

What would you regret most at the end of your life:

A) Failing to reach your dream goal

B) Never having tried to reach your dream goal

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

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3 Comments

Filed under Self help, Self Improvement, Success, Uncategorized

‘The Tipping Point’ by Malcolm Gladwell

The Tipping Point

BOOK REVIEW of ‘The Tipping Point’ by Malcolm Gladwell

This book addresses the phenomena of epidemics in behaviour. It’s premise is that there are certain types of people that start, broaden and continue certain trends in a particular way that is almost formulaic.

These are Connectors, Mavens and Salespeople – all of which play their part in translating and transmitting the mesage from the Innovators of the world.

Connectors: “These people who link us up with the world, who bridge Omaha and Sharon, who introduce us to our social circles – these people on whom we rely on more heavily than we realize – are Connectors, people with a very special gift of bringing people together.”

Mavens: “A Maven is a person who has information on a lot of different products or prices or places. This person likes to initiate discussions with consumers and respond to requests … they like to be helpers in the marketplace. They distribute coupons. They take you shopping. They go shopping for you … This is the person who connects people to the marketplace and has the inside scoop on the marketplace.”

Salespeople: “Mavens are data banks. They provide the message. Connectors are social glue: they spread it. But there is also a select group of people – Salespeople – with the skills to persuade us when we are unconvinced of what we are hearing, and they are as critical to the tipping of word-of-mouth epidemics as the other two groups.”

Things I learned from this book include…

Stickyness – a product or service must be of such quality and usefulness that it lives up to the hype of the reporting of it by the Mavens and Connectors. It must create involvement (engagement) of the target audience.

The Sesame Street Lesson – Kids tune out when things get confusing, even things designed to be exciting (to adults) proved to be confusing to kids and they switched attention. Lesson: know your audience, understand how they want to consume your content and in what situations are they most open to receiving your message.

Which peronality trait are you aiming at? – Studies have shown that children will lie and cheat depending on the circumstances of a situation. Therefore personality traits are not set in stone. Don’t expect adults to be any different, if you’re trying to create an epidemic around your product or service understand the personality traits of your audience as they’re in the situation they come in to contact with your communication, or, news of it via the Mavens, Connectors and Salespeople.

Fundamental Attribution Error – We are more intelligent about human situations than abstract ones, which is maybe why human based stories capture our attention. Gladwell writes: “(FAE) …is a fancy way of saying that when it comes to interpreting other people’s behaviour, human beings invariably make the mistake of overestimating the importance of fundamental character traits and underestimating the importance of the situation or context.” He concludes that there seems to be a mental sleight of hand that helps us reduce the complexity of decision making.

Unfortunately, this usually means our decisions only appear to be rational.

The Power of 150 – The human neocortex ratio of the brain = 150. This means the maximum number of genuine social relationships we can handle is approx. 150. Gore Co. (makers of Goretex) limit the number of employees working in it’s buildings to around 150 for this reason, they find that people function more efficiently, happily and innovatively in groups no larger than this. Mormons split their communities once they reach 150 into two groups of approx. 75. The military have found that units of soldiers operate optimally at 200 or below.

Lastly, Gladwell hypothesises that understanding tipping points when it comes to things like cigarette addiction could have significant impact. Trying to curb the initial usage of cigarettes by youngsters is pointless. No amount of persuasion over the decades has made much difference because of the rebellious nature of teenagers.

He suggests that curbing the stickyness (or addiction) is needed – IE: reduce the nicotine levels to make addiction less likely.

The concepts in this book require some deep thought and can be applied to all walks of life not just marketing. For instance his story of crime reduction on the New York subways simply by cleaning up graffiti is inspirational.

On a thought provoking basis I give this book 8 out of 10.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

6 Comments

Filed under Book reviews, Success, Uncategorized

7 Habits of Highly Successful People (summary)

Hiya,

Excellent summary of a classic self help (business) book:
But it’s equally useful to apply to every part of your life.
Enjoy
Stu
🙂

5 Comments

Filed under Book reviews, Self Improvement, Success, Video Book Reviews, VIDEOS

Jim Carrey: Funny and inspiring

Full Speech: Jim Carrey’s Commencement Address at the 2014 MUM Graduation

When you have half hour to spare, while you’re washing the dishes or doing the ironing, give this a listen. Jim talks a lot of sense to this graduation year and wraps it up in his own inimitable humour.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

2 Comments

Filed under Choice, Life changing, Self help, Self Improvement, Success, Uncategorized, VIDEOS

10 mins to create a new and bold reality for yourself…

10 mins to create a new and bold reality for yourself… draw your way to success.
Enjoy
Stu
🙂

1 Comment

Filed under Life changing, Self help, Self Improvement, Success, VIDEOS

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3 Comments

January 20, 2016 · 1:22 pm

What’s possible for you this year?

 

Goals for 2016

Can you make it possible?

Hi there,

So another year begins. Will it be your year? Do you still believe you can achieve your goals?

Like everyone else I sometimes doubt whether I can achieve my goals. So this New Year I am going to make the word ‘possible‘ my default word. Whenever I doubt myself I will remind myself that I decide what’s possible in my life.

I set myself a 5 year plan half way through 2015, which gives me 4.5 years to achieve it.

How am I doing so far? Well, I’ve been sharpening my saw and now it’s time to start cutting the tree.

I am determined, and I am resourceful, so I believe I can make it possible.

What about you?

Today I sent out the first of my new Ponders to my Ponders Group and asked them what their own default word will be this year. If you want to share – tell me your default word in the comments below.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

1 Comment

Filed under Goals, Self help, Self Improvement, Success