Category Archives: Life changing

Divorced Dads with kids – Who do you need to BE?

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(For any guys going through divorce or know someone going through it.)

So, your other half is leaving you or has left you.

You feel like shit.

Yep, you’re going to feel that way for a while, no magic pill, no shortcuts, just pain, misery, anger, resentment, heartache, confusion, oh – and some more pain etc. etc.

But…

At some point, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years – you’re going to say something like: “I’ve had enough of this.” And that is the first step.

You’re on your way. You’ve made a shift. Things are going to change.

At that point, to overuse an old cliché – it’s the first day of the rest of your life.

Phew! Glad that’s over, plain sailing from here on – er…nope.

Now the actual hard work begins.

The hard work of acceptance – accepting the situation for what it is.

The hard work of believing – believing you do still have a compelling future ahead of you if you can do what’s necessary to enable it.

The hard work of choosing – choosing to BE the Man, BE the Dad and BE the Role Model your kids need You to BE.

And the hard work of deciding – deciding to do what’s necessary to make that happen including compromising, forgiving, understanding, committing, listening, bending over backwards etc. etc.

If that sounds like a tall order right now head over to the Facebook page I’m putting together specifically to help you with that… https://bit.ly/2X3o3BI

(If the link doesn’t work go to FB and search ‘Divorced Dads Rise Up and Be Proud’)

It’s not a place to bitch and moan – there’s plenty of other groups for that, but that kind of talk will just keep you where you are. This group is all about positive empowerment – helping Dads find ways to stay connected to their kids by taking back their true personal power.

This process, as painful as it is, doesn’t have to make you hardened to life or to women – you can use it to make you stronger. Remember steel is forged in a furnace, but it can bend and withstand immense pressure without breaking.

Join us and discover who you really are, how powerful this experience is going to make you AND find a way to BEhave in a way that will make your kids Proud to call you their Dad.

Come and join us now… Click https://bit.ly/2X3o3BI   (‘Divorced Dads Rise Up and Be Proud’)

Take care

Stu

(And if you’re wondering why this is aimed at Dads and not Mums it’s simply because I’m speaking from experience as a Dad that was divorced.)

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Filed under Choice, Divorced Men, Life changing, Miss my kids, Relationships, Self help, Self Improvement, Separation, Uncategorized

We Can Be the Heroes of This Story

Heroes

When we watch a movie that revolves around some existential threat to humanity or even the planet we are reassured by the film makers that the Heroes will save the day. We enjoy the drama, the threat but ultimately feel relief when the Heroes succeed in saving us all.

The difference between those films and the threat of climate change is urgency.

In the movies there’s only ever a couple of days to save the world, right? It’s now or never. The Heroes fly in and we can all sit comfortably back and watch.

The trouble is, climate change IS here, now! It’s threatening our very existence and the existence of millions of other species, but because it ‘seems‘ to be happening slowly we don’t feel the same urgency (me included). In the grand scheme of things it isn’t happening slowly – it’s racing ahead at breakneck speed and guess what…we are sitting comfortably back watching.

In this story WE need to be the Heroes. WE are the only ones that can avert disaster. WE have to save ourselves and everything else.

At this point in a movie someone might say: “So, are you with me?” Then, we cheer as everybody steps up to the plate and we think: “Yeah, I’d step up if I was a superhero.

So, are you with me? Are you a superhero? I hope so. Let’s do every small thing (and big thing) we can in our own way.

Now where’s my cape?

Stu

🙂

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Unlocking the Full Potential of Your Mind

Hiya,

I can’t remember the last time I heard this explained so clearly. Dr Joe Dispenza teaches us how our mind works on remote control most of the time, what that means to us on an experiential level, and how we can change that so that we can have happier, more fulfilled lives.

Enjoy

Stu

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Filed under Life changing, Self help, Self Improvement, Uncategorized, VIDEOS

Identifying Passions.png

Find your passion – this is a very vogue idea at the moment, in fact it has been for at least the past decade. But are you one of those people that thinks ‘I don’t know what I’m passionate about’?

Yeah, me too.

If you have multiple interests but are not overly passionate about one over the others – you’re not alone. And before you think there’s something wrong with you – there isn’t.

I know, I know, I’m going against convention here but I have found that a lot of people actually get more miserable due to the process of trying to identify a passion they ‘should’ have and not finding it. Maybe you could just identify interests that you may not be pursuing at the moment? Start there.

You never know, an interest once pursued, could actually become a passion.

I’m not negating the fact that there are a lot of fortunate people across the globe that are following there passions and some of them took a while to actually identify what it was. Some happened upon it, others pursued it, some were just born to it. But for most of us it just isn’t as easy as some processes make out.

My advice for what it’s worth, is get going with your interests and see how you get on. If you’ve always fancied painting – do it, you’ll soon find out if you’re really interested or not. Likewise with anything else, from cycling to windsurfing, from chess to gardening. And if it’s many things, try them all (not at the same time maybe) but ‘over’ time – give yourself the opportunity to try out your interests and see how they fit. Be a kid again – kids chop and change their minds about what they’re interested in – explore.

What about my job?

Running parallel to the idea of finding your passion is making it into your job, or rather the work you do. I remember thinking a lot about what I ‘wanted’ to do for a living when I was stuck in a job I disliked. Around and around in circles I’d go, thinking of this pursuit and that, never thinking that I could actually make a living doing it.

But like finding your passion in life, maybe finding a job you love is equally evasive to us mere mortals. Sometimes it’s not a matter of finding a job you love but rather finding a way to love the job you have.

A recent Gallup poll of more than 1 million employed U.S. workers concluded that the No. 1 reason people quit their jobs is a bad boss or immediate supervisor. So it may not be the job you hate, finding a way to have a more conducive relationship with your boss, or moving to a company in the same sector may be all that’s required.

I wrote a small eBook a couple of years ago titled: ‘Do You Hate Your Job?‘ – which may help with this very subject, feel free to email me at stuart.young40@googlemail.com and I’ll send you a complimentary pdf copy.

To conclude: go easy on yourself, stop expecting to have an epiphany at any moment – even epiphanies have a shelf life. When they run out you start searching for the next. Give yourself some time to relax and just ‘be’ with interests, then see what happens.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

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Filed under Change Job, Life changing, Self help, Uncategorized

How To Quit Your Life (and reboot)

Hiya,

To celebrate passing my 50,000th view today for this blog here is an inspirational and thought provoking TED Talk by Priya Parker – 19 mins long but worth it:

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

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Filed under Change Job, Goals, Life changing, Uncategorized, VIDEOS

Use Christmas to Make a Change.

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Hiya,

We each have a slightly different idea of Christmas, what it means, how it makes us feel etc. But there is one thing that is the same for all of us…

A number of factors will lead us to the feeling of Christmas. I mean, if you went to sleep on November 15th and woke up on Christmas Day I’m betting you wouldn’t feel very Christmassy (apart from the obvious discombobulation!). A set series of experiences will lead you to the eventual feeling.

For some it’s the buying of gifts that makes them ‘feel‘ Christmassy. For others it’s the weather, carol singers, Christmas movies, Christmas songs on the radio or even festive food. For me it’s a combination of all these things. They each add to each other to create a nostalgic, excited state of mind.

So why do I mention this, it’s obvious right?

The point is that ‘any‘ state of mind works the same way. Happy, sad, excited, miserable, disappointed, exhilarated, etc. They all require a set of catalysts: sounds, smells, words, memories, visual cues, physical experiences and so on.

The trick then is to be aware of ‘what‘ cues are creating the feelings you are having. If they are pleasurable feelings then you can actually create them at will by seeking out the cues deliberately. If they are uncomfortable feelings that crop up you can learn to avoid the catalysts that cause them.

Go in to 2017 with a determination to be aware of what is creating the feelings you are having – then decide whether you want more or less of them.

Live more deliberately.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

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Filed under Choice, Life changing, Self help, Uncategorized

The Happiness Decision

6 minutes that could change how happy you feel…

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Filed under Choice, Life changing, Self help, Uncategorized, VIDEOS