Category Archives: Goals

Hiya,

When was the last time you stopped and really evaluated where you are headed and why?

It’s possible things have changed since you set yourself on your present course.

Maybe it’s time for a course correction, a deviation onto a slightly different path. Maybe an about turn altogether.

How will you know?

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

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Filed under Change Job, Goals, Life changing, Self Improvement

Getting To Grips With Fear And Confusion

Hiya,

This is an excerpt from my book: “Do You Hate Your Job?” – I re-read it today because I am feeling some of these feelings at the moment and this helped. To get a free pdf copy of my book see instructions at the bottom…

If you do decide to find a new job, new career or start up your own business know that there may well be fear and confusion along the way.

Learn to accept that, learn to understand that growing as a person is happening alongside this journey of following your passion, dream or goal. Sometimes you have to take the hit. If you want to go into events planning but don’t have the experience, why not get a job just helping other planners set their events up and learn how they do it from the ground up.

If you feel totally stuck or paralysed by fear or doubt – get calm. Sit still, breathe deeply and slowly and reconnect with your intuition, excitement, creativity and imagination. Trust yourself.

Accept that you won’t know all the answers, accept that you will have to take risks and above all accept that you may fail along the way. This is part of the journey. If it was easy everyone would do it – but they don’t. This is the road less travelled, this is the path to success, the difficult path but the one that leads to more fulfillment, contentedness, happiness, joy and ultimately life.

I did it, in fact I’m still doing it. Yes, I still have doubts and fears and I still find myself procrastinating from time to time. But at least now I’m aware of what’s going on and how to change it.

And remember to give yourself a break. It’s normal to be afraid, it’s normal to be unsure. Rather than chastise yourself for these negative feel- ings, acknowledge them. Sit with them for a while. Listen to what they’re trying to tell you. Then question if you agree with them or not.

Feelings are natural – accept them, allow them. If you want to know the strategies and tactics to change them… read on.

To read the whole book simply email me at:  stuart.young40@googlemail.com  with “Send me the book” in the subject line and I’ll send it to you direct, no strings, no endless emails trying to sell you something. Promise!

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

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Filed under Change Job, Choice, Goals, Life changing, Self help, Success

Magick is a load of baloney! Isn’t it?

Magick symbols

See below for photo credit

Hiya,

When we think of magic (or magick) we think of some exponent reciting a spell and ‘poof’ a unicorn appears on their lawn, or a million pounds appears in their bank account.

Hollywood magic!

In my opinion that is baloney. But, what about ‘real’ magick?

Real magick in my opinion is the ability to bring into reality that which starts off in our imagination. Sounds easy doesn’t it, and it is to some extent. We’re doing it all the time, every one of us.

What we don’t do is bring that which we desire into reality. We tend to bring that which we are scared of, or that which we have a belief system for, or that which we think is all we deserve.

The Secret

The Secret” made a big splash a few years ago explaining the Law of Attraction, like attracts like etc. It proposed that all you had to do was get into the same ‘vibration‘ as that which you desire and the universe will bring it to you – like magic!

I’m afraid that’s a bit too simplistic.

However, the right state of mind is a key part of getting what you desire in life. In fact I saw a fascinating documentary a while back that showed different individuals and their journey to achieving something. Those with negative states of mind (the, I only have bad luck group) found it almost impossible to recognise opportunity, even when the program makers tried their hardest to present opportunities directly to them. On the other side, the positive minded individuals spotted opportunity everywhere and constantly moved towards them.

There are many, many ways to teach yourself how to have a more positive state of mind and today I wanted to share a ‘magick‘ trick that will help, and that I believe is nothing more than a neurological trigger.

What’s a neurological trigger?

We build up associations throughout our lifetime from the moment we’re born to the moment we die. ‘Fire can hurt me‘ is a valuable association to learn. ‘I failed to do [xyz] which means I’m useless‘ is definitely a damaging and restrictive association to adopt.

These association will have a corresponding trigger – a situation, word, phrase, colour etc., which can all be triggers that bring forth that association and the feeling that goes with it.

We are surrounded by these triggers in everyday life too – think the McDonalds ‘M’, or Coca-Cola’s swash lettering or the National flag of your country. Seeing these images can trigger a state of mind.

In magick these symbols are called Sigils.

Sigils for magick

My recent sigil

A sigil in my opinion is nothing more than a neurological trigger designed by YOU to move yourself in to a state of mind of your choosing.

There are many articles that explain ways of creating sigils (or logos) and I urge you to investigate. You don’t have to believe the hocus pocus that goes with them – unless you want to of course.

The point is, you create your sigil based on what you desire and then keep it somewhere where you can see it – on the fridge, or beside your computer for example. The sigil becomes a trigger for you to get into the state of mind that will help your subconscious find ways to make that desire a reality. It acts like an instant mantra.

Your subconscious is so powerful that it starts to alert your conscious mind to that which you need in order to move towards your desire. It will give you hunches about things – act on them. It will make you aware of coincidences – notice them.

Try it this week, test it on something small first to see if it’s working for you.

And leave a comment below if you’d like to know my preferred method of sigil creation.

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

Photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/33268358@N00/764219356

 

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Filed under Coincidences, Goals, Success

What do you need to stop doing?

Hiya,

Ever heard of ‘sunk cost fallacy’?

It’s the psychology of continuing with an endeavour even though it may be fruitless simply because you have invested so much time in it already.

Even when we know the outcome will not be satisfying we continue so as not to feel that the time and effort already invested has not been wasted. Yet to add more time and effort is to add to that waste.

Consider today what do you need to stop doing?

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

Change Your Mindset,

HERE

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Filed under Change Job, Goals, Life changing, Self help, Self Improvement, Success

How would you answer: ‘What do I need to stop doing?’

Hiya,

Some things will spring to mind immediately – drinking, smoking, eating fatty foods etc. But other things may require some consideration.

Procrastinating, distractability, negative thinking, blaming, judging, laziness and a million others.

Give it some thought and you’ll identify those things that you know you need to stop. Discern if these traits are interfering with your level of fulfilment, happiness and satisfaction in life. You’ll find they are. Now decide to stop them one by one.

It’ll take effort – everything worthwhile does.

Believe me I have plenty of these. I’m working on them but every day requires effort. Some days I find myself slipping back but I take a breath, recognise what I’m doing – then stop.

Sometimes my wife Em helps me recognise them. (If you know what I mean!)  😉

So, what do You need to stop doing?

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

PS: This is page 283 of my book ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time‘ still available from Amazon right here: CLICK HERE FOR PAPERBACK

And Kindle right here: CLICK HERE FOR KINDLE COPY

 

Change Your Mindset,                        CLICK HERE

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For all the children’s book writers out there…

Hiya,

Why I began to write for children,” from Isaac Bashevis Singer’s 1978 Nobel banquet speech:

  1. Children read books, not reviews. They don’t give a hoot about the critics.
  2. Children don’t read to find their identity.
  3. They don’t read to free themselves of guilt, to quench the thirst for rebellion, or to get rid of alienation.
  4. They have no use for psychology.
  5. They detest sociology.
  6. They don’t try to understand Kafka or Finnegans Wake.
  7. They still believe in God, the family, angels, devils, witches, goblins, logic, clarity, punctuation, and other such obsolete stuff.
  8. They love interesting stories, not commentary, guides, or footnotes.
  9. When a book is boring, they yawn openly, without any shame or fear of authority.
  10. They don’t expect their beloved writer to redeem humanity. Young as they are, they know that it is not in his power. Only the adults have such childish illusions.

This is from today’s brilliant ‘Futility Closet‘ daily newsletter – a constant source of interest, humour and wonderment, not to mention education.

To subscribe to it for absolutely nothing CLICK HERE

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

PS: Write the way You want to, not the way someone else tells you that you should.

 

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Filed under Goals

Why failure is necessary on the road to success…

Growth mindset graph

Project mood chart

Hiya,

In Chip and Dan Heath’s brilliant book “Switch“, they talk about the necessity for businesses to adopt a growth mindset and that failure is part of that mindset.

In the business world, we implicitly reject the growth mindset. Bussiness people think in terms of two stages: You plan, and then you execute. There’s no ‘learning stage’ or ‘practice stage’ in the middle. From the business perspective, practice looks like poor execution. Results are the thing: We don’t care how ya do it, just get it done!” – They say, explaining that everything in the middle can look like a failure.

They go on to describe a ‘project mood chart‘ that plots how and why changes in emotion within a team happen at different stages in a project. Usually it starts with hope and enthusiasm, ideas are flowing freely and abundantly, but in order to integrate all of these ideas some moments of insight are required. And insight doesn’t always happen when you want it to. Depression can set in and the project starts to feel like a failure. But with persistence, improvements are made, the necessary tweaking happens and eventually the solution becomes more and more visible.

They state that by telling a team to ‘expect‘ this process it doesn’t come across as negative but rather as optimistic, as now – failure is described as just a part of the overall journey to a successful outcome.

They go on to say:

That’s the paradox of the growth mindset. Although it seems to draw our attention to failure, and in fact encourages us to seek out failure, it is unflaggingly optimistic. We will struggle, we will fail, we will be knocked down – but throughout, we’ll get better, and we’ll succeed in the end.

Falling down as you travel down the path is an opportunity to learn where the pot-holes are, they are not a signal that you are failing to walk down the path.

This doesn’t only apply to businesses, but rather to ALL aspects of life. We have to dig deep to get through the depressing down times when we’re in need of insight, but trust that if we just keep going it will reveal itself.

If you’re in business at any level read Switch asap.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

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Filed under Confidence, Goals, Life changing, Self help, Self Improvement, Success

Happiness = In the Flow

Hiya,

I’m reading a fascinating book at the moment by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschäppeler titled “The Decision Book“.

It contains 50 models for strategic thinking to help in making decisions.

One of the strategies is understanding how to identify being happy. They quote a study  conducted by US psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (yep, go on – say it out loud).

Mihaly interviewed over a thousand people about what made them happy and used their responses to determine the 5 most common indicators, which were:

  1. They were intensely focussed on an activity
  2. It was of their own choosing
  3. It was not under-challenging (boring) or over-challenging (overwhelming)
  4. It had a clear objective
  5. Which received immediate feedback

He coined the phrase ‘in the flow‘ to describe that mental state.

The participants that experienced this ‘flow‘ were said to have a profound sense of satisfaction and they lost track of time because they were totally absorbed.

Easy to imagine athletes, musicians, artists etc. reaching this place often but ask yourself when was the last time you experienced all 5 of the above?

If you want to be happier look for projects that will enable this state of mind – and if you employ people or manage people, figure out ways to engage them in tasks that create that outcome. They will be a lot happier and you will undoubtedly create a more productive, creative and content workplace.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

PS: If you enjoyed this please share it on your Facebook page and help someone else find their happiness. 🙂

 

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Filed under Change Job, Goals, Life changing, Self help, Success

Arianna Huffington Interview

Hiya,

If you’d rather Thrive rather than just survive watch this superb interview with Arianna Huffington.

She explains to Joe Polish the reason behind writing her 14th book ‘Thrive‘ and why there should be a third way in which we measure success. Money & power are the usual two but we often overlook the third – wellbeing.

It lasts approx. 50 minutes but it’s well worth the time watching it. Her new practices over the last few years have enabled her to live with less stress, less anxiety, more fulfillment, more happiness and contentedness.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

PS: If you enjoyed this and want to learn how you can nurture the positive mindset required to succeed in any area of your life  this might be a

good fit —-> CLICK HERE

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Filed under Confidence, Goals, Life changing, Self help, Self Improvement, Success

How to change negative beliefs

Blackboard with banish negative beliefs written on it

Banishing Negative Beliefs

Hiya,

Below is a 6 step negative belief buster process…

Possibly the number one reason people do not reach their goals, or even attempt to reach them in many cases is – negative beliefs.

If you fall in to that category then in this post I aim to give you some tactics to move past them.

#1 Identify them – seems obvious but a lot of the time you may be completely unaware of your own negative beliefs. Ask yourself what is holding you back, what is stopping you reach your goals at the moment?

The answer to this question will reveal a reason or maybe a whole raft of reasons. These reasons are negative beliefs. Whoa! I here you say – these are valid reasons, and they may seem totally valid.

I don’t have the money, I was born in the wrong country, my family needs me, I’m not physically able etc, etc. Sound familiar?

#2 Find evidence that supports them – imagine you were someone else asking you for evidence, what would you say?

Look at my bank account, see, no money. I was born into poverty, this is a poor area in a poor country. I am the only bread winner in the family I can’t go off chasing my dreams.”…you get the idea.

#3 Now identify the meaning of that evidence – does it mean you are destined to remain where you are? Is it fate? Is it God’s plan for you? You weren’t lucky enough to be born with the right circumstances, etc.

#4 Now question if there could be another meaning – maybe it means you have to find your own path to your goals despite the obstacles. Maybe that challenge is the process that will give you the fulfillment. Maybe you are afraid of failing or possibly of the effort that will be required.

#5 Identify the fear – there almost undoubtedly is one. If you can understand what it is, you can deal with it. Fears of this type are usually a challenge to us, they are saying ‘How much do you want this?

#6 Mitigate the fear – find ways to reduce the risk of failure – eg: learn whatever you need to, model what others have done to achieve it, learn to accept failure as part of the journey.

Example:

Imagine a  kid learning to ride bike. First, they say they can’t ride (negative belief). Why can’t they? Because they fell off when they tried (evidence). What did that mean? They can’t ride (meaning). Really, could there be another meaning – like they have to do it over and over before they’ll succeed (alternative meaning). But it hurts (fear). So they should wear a helmet and knee & elbow pads (mitigate fear).

Summary

Whatever your negative belief find someone that has overcome it. Model what they did. If you can’t find someone that did what you want to do, find someone that did something for the first time and model how they did that. You could be the first with your goal. Biographies are a mine of information – read up on those you admire.

It all starts with realising that your belief can be changed. The second step is deciding that you are going to make that change. Remember the 6 keys to success in any area:

#1 Have a clear goal

#2 Understand why you want that

#3 Understand the price of getting that

#4 Decide to pay the price

#5 Pay the price

#6 Keep monitoring how you are doing

 

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

Related posts:

What If You Could?

Making Big Decisions

PS: If you still want to get a copy of “Do You Hate Your Job?” you can get it on Kindle for less than £2 or a pdf copy at no cost right here: FREE Copy

Change Your Mindset,

CLICK HERE

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Filed under Goals, Life changing, Success