Why You’ll Always Be Dissatisfied – And That’s Good News!

At first glance that headline seems a bit controversial don’t you think? Well hopefully I’m going to convince you that not only is it accurate but by the end of this article you’ll accept it willingly.

I was dissatisfied

A few years ago I was dissatisfied with the career I had made, I was managing a company but not in control of the company. My ideas for expanding it were always met with negativity by the owner. I’d created a comfortable, albeit stressful, position for myself, where I had complete autonomy. I ran the day to day business my way and the team I had were great. Unfortunately there was nowhere left for me to go within the company and I didn’t want to work my way up in another company and lose the authority I already enjoyed.

                                  Something had to change!

I had to overcome my fear and go it alone, start my own business – from scratch. It was something I’d dreamed of many times but I was afraid to try in case I failed and jeopardised what I already had. Over a period of a few years I became frustrated enough to finally give it a go. My dissatisfaction drove me forward, spurred me on. Thankfully, it was the best decision I ever made.

I wasn’t unhappy though

Here’s the thing though, at no point was I ever actually unhappy. I was happy that I had a secure job. I was happy that I had control over my daily activities with virtually no-one to answer to. I was happy that my team were hard working and conscientious. I was happy that I had a nice home and plenty of time to spend with friends. But I was dissatisfied I was not moving forward, not pursuing my goals and dreams.

I discovered

When I became a student of Bob Proctor’s ‘Goal Achiever’s‘ Program I discovered the difference between Satisfaction and Happiness. It’s held me in good stead ever since. Dissatisfaction is the driving force behind improvements. When we are dissatisfied with the performance of a product or service we look to improve it. This is an ongoing process as nothing exists that is perfect – not even life. Life is continually evolving, adapting to it’s circumstances – improving. No tool or gadget that you own has reached a point where it can’t be improved.

How to use dissatisfaction

So, if you find yourself dissatisfied with any part of your life – welcome it! Realise it for what it is, a sign that you need to make a change, an improvement, maybe even a complete rethink. Making that decision might be challenging but at least you know a decision needs to be made. However, strive to find the happiness in everything. Getting back in touch with gratitude can help remind us of all the things we can be happy about despite our dissatisfaction.

I hope that convinces you that dissatisfaction is your internal friend urging you onwards.

Enjoy

Stu

Man being divorced? – to get practical help and support visit my Divorced Men Rise Up and Be Proud FB Group here

Find your passion – this is a very vogue idea at the moment, in fact it has been for at least the past decade. But are you one of those people that thinks ‘I don’t know what I’m passionate about’?

Yeah, me too.

If you have multiple interests but are not overly passionate about one over the others – you’re not alone. And before you think there’s something wrong with you – there isn’t.

I know, I know, I’m going against convention here but I have found that a lot of people actually get more miserable due to the process of trying to identify a passion they ‘should’ have and not finding it. Maybe you could just identify interests that you may not be pursuing at the moment? Start there.

You never know, an interest once pursued, could actually become a passion.

I’m not negating the fact that there are a lot of fortunate people across the globe that are following there passions and some of them took a while to actually identify what it was. Some happened upon it, others pursued it, some were just born to it. But for most of us it just isn’t as easy as some processes make out.

My advice for what it’s worth, is get going with your interests and see how you get on. If you’ve always fancied painting – do it, you’ll soon find out if you’re really interested or not. Likewise with anything else, from cycling to windsurfing, from chess to gardening. And if it’s many things, try them all (not at the same time maybe) but ‘over’ time – give yourself the opportunity to try out your interests and see how they fit. Be a kid again – kids chop and change their minds about what they’re interested in – explore.

What about my job?

Running parallel to the idea of finding your passion is making it into your job, or rather the work you do. I remember thinking a lot about what I ‘wanted’ to do for a living when I was stuck in a job I disliked. Around and around in circles I’d go, thinking of this pursuit and that, never thinking that I could actually make a living doing it.

But like finding your passion in life, maybe finding a job you love is equally evasive to us mere mortals. Sometimes it’s not a matter of finding a job you love but rather finding a way to love the job you have.

A recent Gallup poll of more than 1 million employed U.S. workers concluded that the No. 1 reason people quit their jobs is a bad boss or immediate supervisor. So it may not be the job you hate, finding a way to have a more conducive relationship with your boss, or moving to a company in the same sector may be all that’s required.

I wrote a small eBook a couple of years ago titled: ‘Do You Hate Your Job?‘ – which may help with this very subject, feel free to email me at stuart.young40@googlemail.com and I’ll send you a complimentary pdf copy.

To conclude: go easy on yourself, stop expecting to have an epiphany at any moment – even epiphanies have a shelf life. When they run out you start searching for the next. Give yourself some time to relax and just ‘be’ with interests, then see what happens.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

How To Quit Your Life (and reboot)

Hiya,

To celebrate passing my 50,000th view today for this blog here is an inspirational and thought provoking TED Talk by Priya Parker – 19 mins long but worth it:

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

Career Advice from an Inspirational Journalist

Great Career advice – for any career

Hiya,

My wife pointed me to this excellent article on becoming a freelance journalist by George Monbiot. The clue is in the word ‘free‘. But even if you’re not trying to be a writer the words here will inspire and provoke thought with regards to your own hopes and dreams.

If you’re still under 30 you may still have hopes and dreams, if you’re over 40 you may be wondering where they went. Read the article and it might just remind you…

Read the article by CLICKING HERE

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

Hiya,

When was the last time you stopped and really evaluated where you are headed and why?

It’s possible things have changed since you set yourself on your present course.

Maybe it’s time for a course correction, a deviation onto a slightly different path. Maybe an about turn altogether.

How will you know?

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

Getting To Grips With Fear And Confusion

Hiya,

This is an excerpt from my book: “Do You Hate Your Job?” – I re-read it today because I am feeling some of these feelings at the moment and this helped. To get a free pdf copy of my book see instructions at the bottom…

“If you do decide to find a new job, new career or start up your own business know that there may well be fear and confusion along the way.

Learn to accept that, learn to understand that growing as a person is happening alongside this journey of following your passion, dream or goal. Sometimes you have to take the hit. If you want to go into events planning but don’t have the experience, why not get a job just helping other planners set their events up and learn how they do it from the ground up.

If you feel totally stuck or paralysed by fear or doubt – get calm. Sit still, breathe deeply and slowly and reconnect with your intuition, excitement, creativity and imagination. Trust yourself.

Accept that you won’t know all the answers, accept that you will have to take risks and above all accept that you may fail along the way. This is part of the journey. If it was easy everyone would do it – but they don’t. This is the road less travelled, this is the path to success, the difficult path but the one that leads to more fulfillment, contentedness, happiness, joy and ultimately life.

I did it, in fact I’m still doing it. Yes, I still have doubts and fears and I still find myself procrastinating from time to time. But at least now I’m aware of what’s going on and how to change it.

And remember to give yourself a break. It’s normal to be afraid, it’s normal to be unsure. Rather than chastise yourself for these negative feel- ings, acknowledge them. Sit with them for a while. Listen to what they’re trying to tell you. Then question if you agree with them or not.

Feelings are natural – accept them, allow them. If you want to know the strategies and tactics to change them… read on.”

To read the whole book simply email me at:  stuart.young40@googlemail.com  with “Send me the book” in the subject line and I’ll send it to you direct, no strings, no endless emails trying to sell you something. Promise!

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

Still Hate Your Job?

Hate Your Job? Listen now…

Hiya,

I recently did an interview with Rebecca Gordon from the Coaching Lounge where we discussed what to do if you hate your job. Take a listen right here:

 

 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Scroll down to the second interview…

 

What do you need to stop doing?

Photo: http://newsnowdc.com/

Hiya,

Ever heard of ‘sunk cost fallacy’?

It’s the psychology of continuing with an endeavour even though it may be fruitless simply because you have invested so much time in it already.

Even when we know the outcome will not be satisfying we continue so as not to feel that the time and effort already invested has not been wasted. Yet to add more time and effort is to add to that waste.

Consider today what do you need to stop doing?

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

HERE

Is updating your CV (Resume) a waste of time?

Have you asked yourself this lately?

Hiya,

I for one have never got a job based on my CV. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever had a CV. Maybe I’m fortunate, I’ve never looked for a job, one always presented itself as the old one came to an end or had served its purpose.

For a lot of people their CV is hugely important, maybe you are one of them. But consider this for a moment.. .what are the key elements of a CV?

1. Where you are at the moment
2. Where you were before that
3. What your education level was

I know it’s more involved than that but that’s basically it.

The thing is that is ALL about who you were. If you want to experience something new you have to think differently than you did before. You have to try on a new mindset. Try a new perspective. Otherwise you are just looking for more of what you have right now. And if you’re reading this you probably have some frustrations about your job, right?

So ask yourself: is getting a better version of your present job the answer?

If it is – Great! Sort your CV out asap. If not, you might want to think more about where you want your life to head over the next 5 – 10 years.

The right job or career for you could be in your very near future, but if you don’t identify it now, you’ll never recognise it when it comes along.

Put that work in right now and figure out what it is you’d love (or even like) to do.

Let me know in the comments below. 🙂

Strive to thrive

Stu

🙂

PS: If you’d like some help with this READ THIS