At first glance that headline seems a bit controversial don’t you think? Well hopefully I’m going to convince you that not only is it accurate but by the end of this article you’ll accept it willingly.
I was dissatisfied
A few years ago I was dissatisfied with the career I had made, I was managing a company but not in control of the company. My ideas for expanding it were always met with negativity by the owner. I’d created a comfortable, albeit stressful, position for myself, where I had complete autonomy. I ran the day to day business my way and the team I had were great. Unfortunately there was nowhere left for me to go within the company and I didn’t want to work my way up in another company and lose the authority I already enjoyed.
Something had to change!
I had to overcome my fear and go it alone, start my own business – from scratch. It was something I’d dreamed of many times but I was afraid to try in case I failed and jeopardised what I already had. Over a period of a few years I became frustrated enough to finally give it a go. My dissatisfaction drove me forward, spurred me on. Thankfully, it was the best decision I ever made.
I wasn’t unhappy though
Here’s the thing though, at no point was I ever actually unhappy. I was happy that I had a secure job. I was happy that I had control over my daily activities with virtually no-one to answer to. I was happy that my team were hard working and conscientious. I was happy that I had a nice home and plenty of time to spend with friends. But I was dissatisfied I was not moving forward, not pursuing my goals and dreams.
When I became a student of Bob Proctor’s ‘Goal Achiever’s‘ Program I discovered the difference between Satisfaction and Happiness. It’s held me in good stead ever since. Dissatisfaction is the driving force behind improvements. When we are dissatisfied with the performance of a product or service we look to improve it. This is an ongoing process as nothing exists that is perfect – not even life. Life is continually evolving, adapting to it’s circumstances – improving. No tool or gadget that you own has reached a point where it can’t be improved.
How to use dissatisfaction
So, if you find yourself dissatisfied with any part of your life – welcome it! Realise it for what it is, a sign that you need to make a change, an improvement, maybe even a complete rethink. Making that decision might be challenging but at least you know a decision needs to be made. However, strive to find the happiness in everything. Getting back in touch with gratitude can help remind us of all the things we can be happy about despite our dissatisfaction.
I hope that convinces you that dissatisfaction is your internal friend urging you onwards.
The phrase in the image can be reversed too:
First BELIEVE you CAN, then DECIDE you WILL.
Either way your Beliefs and your Decisions will determine what kind of future you’ll have.
A long time ago my 1st wife left me, I remember being in that place of confusion and anger, I remember wanting to blame my ex for everything, I remember feeling betrayed… but then I realised what I wanted more than anything – and everything changed.
I can’t tell you it was an epiphany, or a bolt of lightning in my mind – but at some point I decided my daughter was the most important thing to me and I needed to find a way to build the strongest relationship I could with her – despite the situation.
The solution was as simple as A, B, C – but that didn’t mean it was going to be easy. Some people will tell you what you want most in life is hard because you have to prove to yourself how much you really want it. I’m not sure I believe that.
Once I started down the A, B, C path everything actually got easier in some respects – it still took a lot of self reflection and soul searching for me to come to terms with it all, BUT, dealing with my ex and getting access to my daughter definitely became easier.
There is a way through. You can have a brighter future. I’m living proof of it.
If you are in this situation or know of a Dad who is – take a look at my dedicated Facebook Group: Divorced Dads Rise Up and Be Proud here