Have you ever failed at anything?
I have, many, many times with all sorts of things. From marriage to business to striving for certain goals.
Have you ever succeeded at anything?
I have, many, many times with all sorts of things. From marriage to business to striving for certain goals. Hmm, sounds like the first answer. That’s because it is. No I’m not spinning failure into success. I’m being literal, I have failed and I have succeeded – at the same things.
Let me explain…
My first marriage ended after a year – on anyone’s terms that’s a pretty miserable fail, right? Yeah, at the time it was painful and I felt like a miserable failure. But, after a short time me and my ex-wife actually became friends again, initially for the sake of our daughter, but eventually because it made sense to put the past behind us, learn from it, move on – but most importantly for me – to keep what was good about it. Me and my ex were friends first, so it made sense for me to retain that part.
25 years later we’re still friends and I like to think that our daughter benefitted from the ‘good’ relationship we made. And she has grown into a beautiful, kind, loving mother herself now. HUGE Success
Now I’m married again and it’s great. So now I like to think I’m a success at marriage (ask my wife for a true opinion). 🙂
So other failures…
I started my own business and for a few years it was great and I earned some good money. But slowly, slowly the competition got cheaper and my revenue diminished to a point where it now just ticks over. I tried getting in new business but selling wasn’t my strong point so now I concentrate on property investing. It’s been 12 years or more since I started the core business so I’m already in the top 4% of business owners just by continuing to trade for 10 years+, so in some ways I’m a success, but considering how it’s fortunes have gone steadily down you could say it’s more like a failure.
But I keep going, keep trying new things, keep striving and do my best to keep positive.
At the time I started my business I also started doing abstract paintings and have since sold in excess of 650 originals, albeit at very affordable prices. Success
A few years ago I tried setting up an online business, I got nowhere. Fail
Then I decided to write a self help book, I gave myself one year to write it. I did just that. Success
I self published it and learned a lot about marketing so I could sell it, I even created a 90 day home study course to go along with it. Success
I didn’t get anywhere with it. Fail
After dabbling a bit in business networking I set up my own network group and met lots of interesting people. Success
It didn’t bring me any new business or income streams. Fail
I overcame technical hurdles (and if you know me you know that’s a big deal) to set up blogs like this one and YouTube videos. Success
I reached 2nd Dan Black belt in my chosen martial art and when the club owner retired earlier this year he handed the running of the club over to me. Success
I taught myself how to play the piano and now write my own instrumental pieces. Success
I have written a 12 part children’s book series. Success
I could go on with a long list of successes and failures but my point is, to me, success is an attitude. We don’t know which failures we’ve had in the past might turn into successes, or what lessons they have taught us that might help us with success in the future. So in order to give myself the best chance of success I have to follow the following equation: R+R+HW +D,P&C. Resourcefulness + Resilience + Hard Work + Determination, Persistence & Consistency.
Make sure this resonates with you before adopting it though as there are many sayings and formulas out there that can misleading. One is attributed to Einstein: “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.” However, if you were a door to door salesman and you quit after the first ‘No thanks’ because of Einstein’s quote you’d never get to door 7 where the first buyer of your product is. Or door 18 where your second buyer is, or door 32 where your biggest buyer is.
The lesson is only learned after sufficient energy has been put into something and you’ve learned all you can from the process and only you’ll know when that is. We also have to learn from the ‘No thanks’ in order to maximise a different result further up the metaphorical street.
Will I continue to have failures? Of course. But hopefully my ratio of successes will get larger.
So to answer the headline of this blog: The only way to properly fail is either not to try in the first place or quit trying because of failure. That’s not me and I hope it’s not you either.
So let me ask you this…
What would you regret most at the end of your life:
A) Failing to reach your dream goal
B) Never having tried to reach your dream goal
3 responses to “HOW TO FAIL PROPERLY”
“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. Relax and dream up a good life.” ~ Jim Carrey
I love your honesty re your own experiences of failure and success. It made me consider mine. I’m very excited about the fact that I’ve only got another four years of cleaning to enter into the top 4% of those who survive for ten years or more in business. Hmmm. Right now I’m trying to focus on being a good person to live with. This weekend is quite bizarre. Kara has just moved out as her new place is ready, but she didn’t want to leave. Success. On Sunday I’m meeting up with Paul from America who I lived with for 9 months before Kara. Success. Arran, is moving in as I type this reply. Who knows what will come of it…but I’m thinking positive, being myself, showing who I am. Thanks for this one Stu.
The best person you can show the world Jo is who you are. 🙂