Do Your Possessions Give You Confidence?

A picture of a load of possessions

What do yours mean?


I can see that having all of my possessions around me provides proof that I’m ‘worth it’ as L’Oreal says.

I worked hard, I used my intellect and integrity to provide the funds necessary to buy these things. They validate me – I NEED THEM !

Really? Do I?  – NO.

I want to move to a bigger, nicer, house – WHY? So I can have further evidence of my worth. So I can show those that know me that I am capable, clever, hardworking and I CAN DO THIS!

I don’t need to earn a fortune, just enough to be financially FREE. Does that mean I’m not worth a fortune? Maybe, is that what I believe?

I only feel confident when I’m talking about something I know a lot about or doing something I know I can do. Is that true? Is that really true? Can I feel confident talking and doing that which I don’t fully know? Who would TRUST me?

Aha, my possessions therefore show others they can trust me. TRUST is one of my main values. It’s important for me to trust others and for them to trust me. I can create trust by showing that I have integrity and I’ll always do my best. Are my possessions a visible sign of that?

So, do I need to know EVERYTHING?

Maybe! Maybe, I can point the way, maybe the power is in the questions. Am I confident about that. YES. Do I trust the questioning process? YES. It’s the only place from where discovery is made.

Resistance to the exercises teachers give us may come from NOT wanting to discover the answers. One question to ask is why won’t you do an exercise? What might you find out that will prove to be uncomfortable?

We say we don’t have time or do we just create DISTRACTIONS? If we do, why? So that we don’t discover? Ignorance is BLISS so they say. It is, BUT ignorance keeps us in the dark.

Make TIME to discover. I like to help others discover. I like to facilitate that. By asking questions.

What questions?

Penetrating ‘why’ questions. Why, why, why? How do we know when we get to the root ‘why’? – We FEEL it.

We know already – we’re discovering it, uncovering it, revealing it, shining a light on it. We’ll know when we KNOW.

That was my own investigation into how my possessions influence my confidence – will you ask how yours influence You?


This post was inspired by my own lessons from one of my teachers – SoulDancer (Yes, his real name!). Thanks Soul.




PS: If you still want to get a copy of “Do You Hate Your Job?” you can get it on Kindle for less than £2 or a pdf copy at no cost right here: FREE Copy

Change Your Mindset,



Filed under Confidence

9 responses to “Do Your Possessions Give You Confidence?

  1. Stu, I love this post. It is also so timely it’s silly. Our house is being bought as part of a deal to develop the land for commercial use. The deal may or may not go through since it involves multiple properties, but if it does we would have to be out mid-May. I am disabled and have companion animals, we have a home-based business, and a partially appointed woodshop. In other words, finding a new space is not an easy task. Well, in 24-hours, I found a place that would work. It is not ideal and it means we cannot do our business at home (there are other alternatives) but it is 800 sq. feet smaller than where we live now. So the, “Where are we going to put the stuff?” question has been circling the drain of the conversation. I had already started asking myself, “What do I need?” last night so I am grateful to find your words first thing this morning. For me, I know I could get rid of some of the craft supplies I have amassed and as I am sitting here writing this I can be brave enough, honest enough to admit part my attachment to them is acquiring them “proves” I was healthy enough to go out into the world and find them, at least for that day. They’re “proof” I am still useful. Is that true? Geeze, I hope not. I hope there is more proof out there than a collection of discounted junk. I would love to hop up and say, “You cured me…I can purge it all and move on,” but you and I both know it’s going to be more complicated than that. As a disabled woman, I do not have a lot of resources to replace those items easily should I need them in the future so I’ll need to weigh them carefully as I decide what stays and what goes. Thank you for writing this right now. You are helping me see this through your words and I do appreciate it. Sometimes, we just need the outside voice to give us the permission we are not sure how to give ourselves.

    • What a wonderful response Tanya. My own conclusion was that none of my possessions make me who I am – I decide that myself. Our possessions are a red herring. We only ‘think’ they show something about ourselves. Not true – our words and deeds do all of that. Good luck with your de-clutter and your move Tanya. 🙂

  2. Great post and a timely reminder that ‘stuff’ shouldn’t define us.

  3. Stu

    Great post. I cannot figure out why some people need to keep every possession they have owned. I am more of the belief less is best. I do keep memory items for myself and to pass down to my children, but that is it. My husband on the other hand…. That picture describes him to a “T”
    Just don’t understand it, but am learning to live with it.


  4. Oh I forgot… I love the pic of you and your wife..very nice 🙂

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