What’s the ‘real’ cause of your fears?

This is October 23rd of my book:  ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At ATime‘.

Take the opportunity today to chunk down.

Chunking down (or up for that matter) is a psychological process used in hypnotherapy and NLP to help get specific about a certain issue. An example conversation might be something like this:

Q: ‘So, why are you feeling angry today?’

A: ‘Because my boss keeps criticising my work.’

Q: ‘Why does that make you feel angry?’

A: ‘Because there’s nothing wrong with my work.’

Q: ‘So why does that make you feel angry?’

A: ‘Because it feels like he’s picking on me.’

Q: ‘And why does that make you feel angry?’

A: ‘Because I’m worried that I might get fired.’

Q: ‘And why would that make you feel angry?’

A: ‘If I got fired I couldn’t pay my mortgage etc.’

Q: ‘Why would that make you feel angry?’

A: ‘Because I don’t like feeling uncertain about stuff like that.’

Q: ‘So why does being uncertain make you feel angry?’

A: ‘Because my family depends on me.’

Q: ‘Does your family depending on you make you feel angry?’

A: ‘Yes, it puts pressure on me.’

You see from this simple example how a critical boss is blamed for the pressure someone might feel from family obligations – that might not actually be real. From here a discussion with the family could ensue to find out if there really is this dependency.

Good NLP books will deal with chunking in more depth.




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Filed under Confidence, Life changing, Self help, Self Improvement

7 responses to “What’s the ‘real’ cause of your fears?

  1. so that’s why psychologist and doctors ask so many questions…
    such a simple way to draw people out about what’s really bothering them…
    maybe parents should use this when their teens seem out of sort…

  2. Josephine Kinnaird

    Oh don’t get me started!….. Too late…. I’m up and running!!!! Surely if you’re going to take it back to the family committments you’ve got to take it back further still! So it will then go back to some childhood trauma or dissappointment or unrequited expectations, etc, etc, etc. And then we have to take it back even further…. where did those fears/expectations come from? Before we were even born maybe, as in Karma, so we’ve carried certain stuff/baggage through into this lifetime!! But that lifetime is no different to any other… in form, yes, but in content, no. Same doubts, same worries, same highs, same lows… just played out in different scenarios. But always the same guilt that we’re not good enough, that everyone else knows something we don’t, that we are on our own, that we need someone else to complete us, that others will see us for the imposter we really are!
    And of course, that all goes back to the instant we chose separation and gave the ego carte blanche to run our lives. It chose death to keep us in fear of looking beyond it. So our ‘real’ fear is the ego fear of going back to our true nature, true Oneness with everything, which is beyond death, time and space. That, of course, means death of the ego and eternal life for the enlightened Mind. 😊

    Date: Wed, 23 Oct 2013 09:19:38 +0000
    To: jokinnaird1@hotmail.com

  3. Jo

    Absolutely! And in reference to your earlier question, which was ‘Why did we choose to come here in the first place then?’ (or words to that effect if I remember correctly), my belief is that we didn’t! We only ‘dreamt’ that we did. Quantum physics is doing a darn good job of proving that all of this is just an illusion. For years, many far more intelligent people than I have been saying the same thing one way or another. So, if it’s all just an illusion, how could we BE here? We’re not, anymore than we are in our night-time dreams. Those dreams are our right Mind giving us clues about our waking deams, The trouble is, we don’t want to acknowledge the message so, instead, we ANALYZE those dreams in order to give them some deeper meaning within our wakeful dream!. We are all incredibly adept lucid dreamers. We are so good at it that we actually believe that this world is real!! Eventually though, the Right Mind manages to get it’s quiet, still, small voice heard. But not until we’re ready… and even then, there is still so much work to do to undo the ego thought system. But,as I have quoted before (from ACiM) ‘NOTHING REAL CAN BE THREATENED. NOTHING UNREAL EXISTS. HEREIN LIES THE PEACE OF GOD’ Thanks Stu, this has been very cathartic for me. Bless you. x

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