How being open can create connection.

August 8th of my book: ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time‘.

This is difficult for a lot of people – yes, me included. When you’re ‘open’ you are vulnerable. We don’t like to feel vulnerable, it’s in our genes to keep ourselves safe. When we lived in caves it meant being physically safe from a bear or a wolf or even our tribe. I would imagine that a wrong look in those days could have been seen as confrontational. (Still does in some places.) So, we began to hide what we were thinking lest it showed on our face.

In today’s sophisticated society a facial expression is still a measure of what we might be thinking consciously or subconsciously. So we find more and more ways to try and keep our thoughts and feelings covered up, private.

Today, find a safe environment to be open. With a family member or a best friend or anyone you trust. Start there. I think you’ll find that with some practice you’ll prefer to be open often. We’re not talking over-sharing here by the way! It’s a bit indulgent to offer gratuitous information so understand why you’re being open. This is about suppressed feelings that might be causing blocks in your life – not sharing the gory details of your gall bladder operation. 🙂

Remember, if you need to be open with someone about their behaviour, tread carefully and speak kindly.




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Filed under Confidence, Life changing, Relationships, Self help, Self Improvement

11 responses to “How being open can create connection.

  1. You are spot-on, Stuart! In my experience, too, being open is a very vulnerable place, and it can be uncomfortable to try to stay there for any length of time. On the other hand, when you’re truly open and vulnerable, you also wield great power: the power of truth and authenticity. Isn’t it ironic that true power is also true vulnerability?

  2. Stu, I’ve overshared…or maybe spoken out of place…on my blog, no less :/ and still there are “gory” details I wish I’d let myself speak of, though I need to be careful who I talk to about this because not everyone can be objective and not give strange looks to the other person involved or, even worse, turn around and give me a bad look for all the crap that’s going on … It’s not easy to open up and not fear being judged… and, about facial expressions, it seems I am cursed with an over expressive face, it even shows feelings I have not yet awknowledged… it’s awful, even my students, jajajaaa, when they need to ask me to make an exception or for more time, they come up to me: “Teacher, can we talk?…Sure…Teacher, don’t look at me like that!…Like what?… You’ve got a look on your face…OK, so stand next to me while you say what you have to say that way you won’t look at my face…OK…” jajajaaaa, my daughter says my look makes it seem as if I am not believing one single word, like a skeptical look… jajajaaaa …Well, they’ll think twice about trying to fool the teacher, right …oops. rambling, lots of it , big hug my friend, Alexandra

  3. Josephine Kinnaird

    How bizarre Stu! Last night I had a very frank and honest conversation with Nikk and, today, another with Ali. Neither caused me any pain, only relief. x

    Date: Thu, 8 Aug 2013 06:23:59 +0000 To:

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