Does accepting stop you changing?

JULY 29th of  ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time’.

Take the opportunity today to accept things the way they are. It doesn’t stop you changing them.

There’s a psychological process that we all suffer from on occasion: Attachment.

Attachment is the holding on to an outcome of some kind. Let’s say you’re trying to get a new job and you see the perfect position for you advertised in the paper. You apply and you get an interview. The interview goes well and they say they’ll let you know within a week if you have the job. Meantime your boss in your present job rubs you up the wrong way and you begin to ‘hope’ that you get the new position. This hope is fine up until the point when you get a phone call or letter saying unfortunately you didn’t get the job. At that point your mood sinks, you become depressed at the thought of going in to work the next day.

You become miserable at the thought of being stuck in a job you hate.

You have become ‘attached’ to the outcome of getting a new job. You have made your happiness dependant on getting that position and when that doesn’t happen you spiral into a bad mood.

The healthier thing to do is ‘accept’ the situation. Just accept that you didn’t get that job and continue looking for another position. Accept that until you find another job you’ll have to keep working at your present one. You’re still looking to change that situation. But through accepting it you can remain calm and focused.

A lot of upset in our lives is caused by our attachment to outcomes whether it’s being stuck in traffic which is making us late for something, or builders not turning up when they agreed which means your kitchen won’t be fitted today, or whether the person you wanted to ask for a date is now going out with someone else.

They are all attachments to the outcome. Some are harder to accept than others but practice will help. Start today accepting things the way they are and the way they turn out, then, continue trying to change them. Calmly and with determined focus.

Remember: we can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we react to it.




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Filed under Change Job, Goals, Life changing, Relationships, Self help, Self Improvement, Success

8 responses to “Does accepting stop you changing?

  1. Just had a similar conversation with my sister on her role as a caretender to her very ill husband…
    It seemed to help her after we looked at the picture…accepting now her circumstance…but, still looking forward to a day when things will be better!
    Good info!

  2. Love the post Stu, we do become attached to the “hopeful” outcomes and many times become disenchanted with where we are instead of acceptance as you say. Which one provides the healthier outcome? Even if you want change learn to learn while you are waiting 🙂

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