Take the opportunity today to create a win-win situation with someone you don’t like.


A few pages of my book are dedicated to creating win-win outcomes to certain situations. This is possibly the most difficult and challenging but give it some thought today. If you can succeed with this one I’m sure you can succeed in any circumstance.

So how do you go about creating a win-win situation with someone that annoys you? Well, that’s probably the hardest thing of all. When we don’t like someone we automatically set our competitive button to ‘max’. Instinctively we want to create a win (for me) – lose (for them) situation with hopefully a good portion of humiliation thrown in. But that’s not going to help us in the long term is it? No.

By working at creating a win-win situation you are probably going to set their ‘suspicion’ gauge running at the beginning, but with a bit of authentic reassurance you’ll find that most people will end up trying to meet you halfway. If you succeed, your relationship with this person will improve no end. Maybe they are a neighbour that complains about the noise, or a work colleague that criticises your work regularly, or maybe someone in your football team who’s sense of humour you dislike. Whatever the context, give it a try – the rewards could be very surprising. Many have found best friends this way.

Good luck and enjoy



PS: Try out 79 pages of my book: ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time‘ at no cost simply by opting in to my complimentary video training series here: (CLICK HERE)


Filed under Goals, Life changing, Relationships, Self help, Self Improvement, Success

24 responses to “Take the opportunity today to create a win-win situation with someone you don’t like.

  1. Good concept Stu,
    More win/win’s are required in this world.
    be good to yourself

  2. Sonel

    Great post Stu. 🙂

  3. It always feels good, nurtures the heart and soul to reach out to another…especially someone with whom you might have some grit. Good exercise and I acccept the challenge! Thanks Stuart. You inspire!

  4. I am so for the win-win, good post, thank you!

    • Thanks Tina, I think a lot of the time we are using the situation to elevate our own self esteem. Trouble is, it’s a destructive way of doing it. Getting the win-win does the same in a con-structive way. Thanks for dropping by. 🙂

  5. Lovely inspiring write up Stu 🙂
    more often that not people jump into compititive state with each other and forget a lot many times working together will make it way easy….

    • Yes Soma, and I’m as guilty as anyone. These posts are all self directed, I’m under no illusion that I behave differently to anyone else. We’re all work in progress. 🙂

  6. marien17

    What I have found about creating win-win situations with someone I don’t like, is that it’s not them or what they’ve done that annoys me, it’s rather what I tell myself about them and their actions…

    Normally, what I tell myself includes a “should”. He shouldn’t do this to me, or she shouldn’t have said that. But this is only my opinion.

    Realising it’s all on my head helps me to feel neutral towards them, and consider a win-win from a genuine place.

    • Well observed Marien, Tony Robbins says that part of our problem is that we ‘should’ all over ourselves and others! If we considered how people thought about our actions sometimes we would probably be horrified, we couldn’t imagine that someone perceived us that way or our intention. We need to look at our perception of the situation more often and see if it might be skewed somewhat. Thanks for commenting. 🙂

  7. I often say no knee jerking – think about things and put yourself in their shoes…

    thanks for the inspiring post,

  8. Great challenge Stu! I think it might be even better to go deeper and figure out why that person annoys you and change that as well so it is easier to go for the win-win. What do you think?

    • That’s an excellent suggestion Robert. In the first instance I feel that simply finding a way to help that person allows the opportunity for both parties to find a different level to interact on. The ‘why’ can often become apparent very quickly through this process. It’s a bit like comparing therapy (looking back) to Strategic Intervention (looking forward). Certainly, yours is a great idea once a win-win has been achieved, as that will reveal more about ourselves. Thanks for your input as always Robert, I like the way you think. 🙂

  9. I believe in win-win but sometimes other factors show up. Nice idea.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s