OK put your hand up if you find asking for help difficult. Yes, I have
my own hand up right now – literally, I stopped typing and put my hand
Why do we find that difficult? Maybe because it reinforces that we
can’t do this task by ourselves and we feel we should. Maybe we feel
that it would impose on others to ask for help. Maybe we think we
can’t afford the help that we require.
Let’s answer those ‘maybees’ one at a time:
1) The idea we should be able to do everything by ourselves is simply
ridiculous. Would you expect it of anyone else? Would you ask your
window cleaner to rewire your house? It’s ok to NOT be able to do
everything, we all have different strengths. It’s ok to ask for help
with something you know you can do on your own because somedays we
just need a bit of help.
2) I read somewhere recently that if you want someone to like you,
rather than do them a small favour, get them to do you one. Yes, we
like to help others because it reinforces our natural desire to be
wanted and valued. When you ask for help you’re actually giving a gift
to the other person. (I know – some people don’t see it that way so
don’t ask them!)
3) What’s your time worth to you? Sometimes you might have to buy
someone else’s time to get something done properly; on time; or
without going insane! Understand the cost of not paying someone else.
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