Want to be happier in 2017?

happy

Hiya,

Take the opportunity today to consider whether your happiness is created by your conditions or the other way around.

Happiness is not created as a result of certain conditions, certain conditions are created as a result of happiness.’ Neale Donald Walsch said that and I agree with him. And this applies to all states of mind.

What he means is if you are a happy person then you will create happy conditions around you. A truly happy person doesn’t need the external conditions to be a certain way in order to be happy. Easier said than done right. Of course it is, at first. What’s the big secret then? Well, for me, it’s just to accept what is. Strive for X but be happy with Y. Not getting attached to the outcome.

When I watch a football match I see the two sets of supporters cheering their team on and in the end one team wins and the other loses, usually. The losing supporters are often devastated. Why? Because they are attached to the outcome. They strive for X (their team winning) but they’re not happy with Y (their team losing). They make themselves unhappy.

Take a look today at areas in your life where you might be doing this. And if you think that by adopting this mental state you’ll lose out on the highs in life (like your team winning) think again. You can continue striving as much as you ever did – but now you won’t be so affected by the lows.

(Page 404 December 29th of my book: How To Change Your Life One Day at a Time)

Happy New Year and enjoy 2017

Stu

🙂

And here’s a video that might help of Dr Ilona Boniwell the founder of the European Network of Positive Psychology explaining how to be more happy…

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Use Christmas to Make a Change.

1

Hiya,

We each have a slightly different idea of Christmas, what it means, how it makes us feel etc. But there is one thing that is the same for all of us…

A number of factors will lead us to the feeling of Christmas. I mean, if you went to sleep on November 15th and woke up on Christmas Day I’m betting you wouldn’t feel very Christmassy (apart from the obvious discombobulation!). A set series of experiences will lead you to the eventual feeling.

For some it’s the buying of gifts that makes them ‘feel‘ Christmassy. For others it’s the weather, carol singers, Christmas movies, Christmas songs on the radio or even festive food. For me it’s a combination of all these things. They each add to each other to create a nostalgic, excited state of mind.

So why do I mention this, it’s obvious right?

The point is that ‘any‘ state of mind works the same way. Happy, sad, excited, miserable, disappointed, exhilarated, etc. They all require a set of catalysts: sounds, smells, words, memories, visual cues, physical experiences and so on.

The trick then is to be aware of ‘what‘ cues are creating the feelings you are having. If they are pleasurable feelings then you can actually create them at will by seeking out the cues deliberately. If they are uncomfortable feelings that crop up you can learn to avoid the catalysts that cause them.

Go in to 2017 with a determination to be aware of what is creating the feelings you are having – then decide whether you want more or less of them.

Live more deliberately.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

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Time to update your internal Apps

Update App

Update Your Internal Apps

Hiya,

My wife was the catalyst for this psychological tactic.

She’s been a bit grumpy lately, a bit overwhelmed. When I gave her a hug she said: “I wish I could just update myself.” What a brilliant idea!

We live in a world of Apps these days – they’re everywhere and will probably outnumber websites soon. We have all seen the little red dot on our settings icon or App Store icon and we know that it could mean our software will improve as will the performance of our technology.

But what if we could borrow this idea to help ourselves on a personal level. Try it and see…

Step One – think of some personality traits you’d like to improve; confidence, gratitude, positivity for example

Step Two – look in a mirror and imagine the little red dot beside your face with the number of how many traits you’d like to update

Step Three – press the imaginary dot and imagine you see a drop down menu with those traits listed. Beside each word is a box with the word ‘Update‘ in it. Press each box one after the other and wait for a moment. While you’re waiting imagine you can see each circular progress bar turning until you see the words ‘Update Successful‘ in each.

I’d love to know how you get on with this so please come back and leave a message.

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

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The Happiness Decision

6 minutes that could change how happy you feel…

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June 21st from my book…

But you could choose which to listen to...

But you could choose which to listen to…

Take the opportunity today to listen to your inner voice.

Have you ever wondered ‘who’ owns that inner voice? You know the one. The one that says: ‘You know what, I don’t think you can do that.’ or it might be the one that says: ‘Yes, that’s what I should do.’ Either way that’s your inner voice. If you find you’re in disagreement with that inner voice ask yourself – ‘Who is that anyway?

Who is it that you’re arguing with?

It can only be you right? So what part of you is saying something contrary to what YOU are thinking? If it’s being negative then it’s your fear personality. If it’s being positive then it’s your passion personality. Ask yourself who you’d rather listen to – your fear or your passion.

Stop for a moment and listen to your passion personality, if your fear personality raises it’s voice just ask it to wait it’s turn. Listen carefully to what your passion personality is saying. That way lies joy.

For most people there are no inner voices spurring them on with encouragement. ” – Richard Bandler

Enjoy

Stu

🙂

PS: To buy a copy of “How to Change Your Life One Day at a Time” go here: GET YOURS HERE

PPS: Get it from me using the top item in that link and I’ll sign it and send it myself. 🙂

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7 Habits of Highly Successful People (summary)

Hiya,

Excellent summary of a classic self help (business) book:
But it’s equally useful to apply to every part of your life.
Enjoy
Stu
🙂

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Brexit – The Bigger Picture

Japanese city

Hiya

There’s a lot of hoo hah at the moment about Brexit. What it means, what will happen if we stay or leave. Yada yada. The argument on the leave side has diseminated into an anti immigrant issue. They are not like us, we are afraid our culture will change, they will steal my job, they will put too heavy a burden on our resources, etc. etc.

In my opinion most people are good. They will give you the time of day or directions if you are lost. No matter where they come from. Most people will return your call of “Good morning” with a smile, and if they saw you fall over would help you back on your feet. People are good.

But why? The human species is a communal one, we like to congregate in groups. On an evolutionary basis it was a matter of survival, safety in numbers and all that. Being evicted from the group meant almost certain death. So you better be a valuable member of the group, right?

Trouble is, the group size is waaaaayy bigger than our psychology can handle. Evolution allowed us to congregate in groups of 20, 30, 60 and more. When we started creating localised communities those groups grew to 100, 130, 150 and more. Studies have shown that the optimal size of a human group is approx. 150. So what happens when the group grows to one million? 10 million?

Sub groups, or tribes, splinter within the group. Football fans see themselves as part of a sub group. Fans of certain pop groups or genres see themselves as a sub group. Political parties actively encourage sub group mentality – them & us.

There is no avoiding it, if you live in a community with other people you will align yourself with certain groups that hold the same values, opinions or desires as you. In fact you will align yourself to multiple groups. Whether you are vegetarian, conservative, eco warrior, Arsenal fan, middle class, Catholic, British or even GoT addict. We define ourselves by the groups we belong to.

How then do we relate to the other people in the wider group?

That is the next big challenge for all societies everywhere. With an ever growing global population and more people than ever living in cities, the groups are becoming massive – as I write this Tokyo has almost 38 million people!

We have to learn a whole new way of existing in such monumental groups. Our primate brain has an enormous amount of further evolution to catchup with our ability to congregate in such numbers. One thing I know for sure is that we need to solve this problem together. Diplomacy may be the great breakthrough of this century and those to come. True, honest diplomacy. Ways of living together where there is equal opportunity, equal access to resources and a fairer distribution of wealth. Separation makes diplomacy harder. When we stick together diplomacy becomes an absolute, it forces us to find ways to live together.

In the 1st world the rich and powerful have the game stacked in their favour. The rest of society get to live off the crumbs from their table. But when the table is so abundant, even the crumbs give the impression that all is well and good. Sometimes the crumb collectors even get to see the rules of the game and are able to elevate themselves to bone fide seats alongside the elite. The game of tax avoidance, tax breaks, being too big to fail, having the wealth to lobby for new laws or legislation that act in your favour actively enable the divide.

That has to change if we are to create a fairer world where everybody has a decent standard of living. That doesn’t stop those that want more from getting more. Just not at the expense of others. Create value and you are rewarded.

The 21st century needs a new psychology – mega group mentality. Any ideas?

Stu

🙂

Photo credit: http://kids.britannica.com

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