~ Luna Adriana Ardiansyah
What will it take for you to decide to change?
~ Luna Adriana Ardiansyah
What will it take for you to decide to change?
According to one online dictionary, ‘life‘ is defined as:
I particularly like the last sentence; “…
So simply put, living is about finding ways internally to deal with our external circumstances. But how many of us aren’t really living, but merely surviving? Do you find yourself waiting for things to change to make your life better – your partner, the economy, your job? Or do you make things change by first deciding to, then taking action to make it happen?
I’m certainly guilty of waiting around for things to turn to my favour. I used to do that a lot – it didn’t get me anywhere. To be honest I still do it to some degree now, until I catch myself doing it and decide to grab life by the scruff of the neck and do something different.
What I do isn’t as important as my intention to make a change. As long as I’m doing ‘something‘ to make a positive difference to my life. Sometimes I make a mistake. Sometimes what I do can make things worse for a while. But I know with enough positive intention eventually I’ll make changes in my life that actually make my life more rewarding.
So if you’re waiting for something BIG to happen in your life, STOP. Get your thinking cap on and figure out just one thing that you can do to get the ball moving in a different direction.
Strive to thrive
Superb interview between Marie Forleo and author Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love).
If you ever wanted to quit it all and throw yourself into that book project but were too afraid. Or you wanted to risk it all to start that business idea, but were worried you might lose it all.
Elizabeth Gilbert saying it how it is and sounding like a breath of fresh air against all the ‘gurus’ who advocate “just follow your passion“.
I sent out my daily Ponder earlier then decided to blog about it here.
I was walking one of our dogs this morning and thinking about a property network presentation I saw last night. The speaker (Francis Dolley) used a note his daughter wrote him when they embarked on their property investing journey as his ‘must‘. The note simply read: “Dad, this has to work.”
Wow! Pretty compelling.
It reminded me of an interview between Frank Kern, John Reese and Tony Robbins. Frank asked how he could get more of his clients to implement the knowledge he taught them. Tony’s response was that the three of them were in a situation where they had to succeed. They were more afraid of the consequences of NOT creating the change and taking the action required than of taking it and potentially failing. And this was missing in most people.
John Reese then says something along the lines of most people haven’t got to the point in their lives where they must make a change, so they sit back and procrastinate a bit longer.
Now I’ve thought about this video a lot over the last few years and recognised that I had a ‘must‘ moment about 11 years ago (see My Story on this blog for more details) but since my life got immeasurably better I slowly mislaid my ‘must‘.
Now I’m on a mission to locate it again because I don’t want to get to the position where my back’s against the wall once more. I don’t want my must to be to move away from something so much, as I want it to go towards something; more freedom, more choices, more time in my life.
I think I’ve been thinking that I needed that urgency in order to motivate me again, but I don’t. What I need now is a vision. What I ‘must‘ have in my life. That’s what I’m going to identify as soon as possible, then I’ll use that as my rocket fuel.
Let’s not be the boiling frog. Allowing ourselves to become more and more uncomfortable as the temperature rises. Let’s discover our ‘musts‘ and allow them to propel us in to the future we desire.
Strive to thrive
PS: To watch that video go HERE
For those of you that aren’t familiar with Mark Homer, he is a very successful property investor based in the UK. Over the past decade or so him and his partner, Rob Moore, have made their fortune buying, selling, refurbishing and renting property of all kinds.
Mark’s book “Low Cost High Life” details his childhood experiences that gave him the mindset for success, the lessons learned along the way and the advice for anyone else to replicate.
These are the lessons I gleaned from it, some I already learned from other authors but they bare repeating as that is how we learn best – repetition.
1. Always make sure you get more value than you pay for. IE: Don’t pay market price for investments if possible – reduce the risk
2. Learn to balance creating money and time equally in order to enjoy the independence true wealth brings.
3. Do not spend earned income on luxuries – it should only go in to either; living, saving or investing. Buy luxuries from passive income.
4. Understand the business you’re in as much as possible, it helps you remain passionate and spot opportunities. Temper your emotional urges with this knowledge to make rational decisions.
5. Get good at local property before considering overseas property. The laws and best practice may well be very different.
6. Networking events grow your network and that can be your best route to JVs, finance, expertise and latest investor trends.
7. Model those you admire that have been successful and made the mistakes. When walking through a mine field it’s best to follow someone else’s footsteps.
8. For maximum productivity stay fit and healthy. This will provide the energy and clarity of thought you need to focus and work effectively.
9. Put systems in place for everything, then manage the systems.
10. Keep 6-12 months operating cash at hand – ALL the time!
11. Invest for cashflow FIRST, and capital growth second.
12. Tap into the market’s perception of value in order to increase your price.
13. Get a PA asap.
A friend recently suggested a brilliant book to me called “The Inner Game of Tennis” by W. Timothy Gallwey. Gallwey wrote the book back in the 70s as a summary of his own approach to the game of tennis as a player and as a coach. He went on to use these techniques to coach corporate executives, entrepreneurs and athletes from many different sports.
Whether you play tennis or any other sport or simply want to improve your ability in any area of your life, this book will certainly stand shoulder to shoulder with any other life enhancement book out there. Here is what I learned:
1. The ‘I’ and the ‘Myself’ are two separate parts of our mind.
When we say “I was talking to myself” we are really talking about two very different aspects of ourselves. The ‘I‘ represents the conscious self that ‘thinks‘ it’s in control, and the ‘myself‘ is the unconscious self which is actually in control. The ‘I‘ always wants to assert itself over the ‘myself‘ – that is the ego. If we allow our conscious mind to dictate to our unconscious through negative words our unconscious actually takes on the ‘role’ of being that way (bad, useless, inconsistent etc.).
2. Any event is only ‘good’, ‘bad’ or ‘indifferent’ depending on our perspective – and we get to choose that.
When describing our performance in any area of our life it’s helpful to use non-emotional adjectives to describe what’s happening. Avoid judgemental words like ‘bad‘. In order to allow ourselves to learn more effectively we must try to detach ourselves from the outcome, a bit like a laboratory assistant noting the results of an experiment – wishing it to be neither one way or the other. This approach helps build trust between our conscious and unconscious minds. This reduces negative associations such as “I always mess up my first serve on pressure points“. By saying it, we override our body’s ability to make the shot.
3. Trying too hard uses more muscles than required to perform in a particular way.
This trying is controlled by the conscious mind and is a signal that it doesn’t trust the unconscious to let the body perform correctly. If our body has performed well in the past it will have stored that memory and can repeat it. By trying to control it we end up using too much energy and risk becoming fatigued prematurely. Also, by trying consciously we end up using muscles that weren’t involved in the correct performance thereby not performing in the same way as we need to.
4. To communicate effectively it’s best to use the ‘others’ primary language.
When speaking to a French person it’s best to speak in fluent French in order to be optimally understood. Likewise, when speaking to the unconscious it’s best to speak in the primary language of the unconscious which was established in infancy; sight, sound and touch (mainly). Before a child understands verbal language it learns through its senses. Therefore, in order to learn effectively first watch someone else doing the activity correctly, then visualise yourself doing it. Then apply without trying to do it perfectly. Just allow your body to perform over and over without judgement.
5. Applying positive role playing
If we give the unconscious mind positive role playing commands it will act on these and reveal suppressed or even never-before-seen qualities or abilities. EG: “When I relax and visualise I find my performance improves dramatically.”
6. When coaching physical activity first give technical instruction accompanied with awareness instruction.
An athlete for instance, should be shown how to perform a move and then encouraged to feel which particular parts of their body are responsible for certain movements. Once they know the how, they can become aware of whether they are actually moving in that way. When they realise there is a fault in their movement they can notice and adjust when they visualise. If they try to adjust physically before they have performed it correctly they may end up firing the wrong muscle groups.
7. Getting out of old undesirable habits
Undesirable habits are the main cause for sub-optimal performance. Start an alternate habit and the old one will dissipate in its own time. Like a baby learning to walk after habitually crawling for months. At first walking is more difficult and clumsy than crawling, but in time, crawling becomes obsolete.
8. Extending focus
In the book, Gallwey talks about tennis players creating interludes to distract them from thinking too hard. He would get them to concentrate on the seams of the ball (so they wouldn’t think about how they are hitting it), and then the bounce and hit each time on each stroke. By putting their attention on the interlude; bounce…hit…bounce…hit, they would have to allow their body to hit the ball intuitively without thinking. This is because our conscious mind cannot hold two thoughts at the same time.
9. The true power of competing
Gallwey’s realisation that competition was a good practice in order to achieve our true potential. Without it we are only shadow boxing. The competitor in this viewpoint becomes less an advesary and more a co-creator. They offer us the challenge to be the best we can be and we offer the same to them. This perspective allows us to see our competitors not as opponents but key players in our own development.
I’m looking forward to seeing how I can apply these lessons to the physical and non-physical aspects of my life and would love to hear if you succeed in doing so too.
Strive to thrive
Tony Robbins is one of the leading lights in personal development. Here’s his insightful formula for happiness:
BP stands for Blueprint – this is how you think your life ‘should‘ look in one area or another. In your health, wealth, relationships etc. At this moment in your life.
LC stands for Life Conditions. Tony states that if our Life Conditions equal our Blueprint for how our life ‘should’ be then we are happy. If they do not match then we are not happy. If you find that your Life Conditions don’t match how you feel your life ‘should’ be right now – read on.
So, how can you change your situation if your Life Conditions do not match your Blueprint?
Simple, but like a lot of simple things in life – not easy. The programming we’ve had throughout our lives can sometimes make it feel impossible to make the changes necessary. But all change is possible when it come to mindset.
If you’re not sure where to start, begin with considering a life coach.
Strive to thrive