Someone asked me the other day: ‘Why is change painful?‘
My first response was to use the analogy of a creature needing to shed its skin in order to grow – the first splitting experience may well be painful but leads to new possibilities.
A raised eyebrow followed with: ‘No, I mean really – why is change actually painful?‘
Aha, a plausible answer was required!
This is my take on it… As a species we search for security, safety, certainty. When we think we’ve found it, or something close to it, we feel calm, comfortable. After a while, that part of us that seeks fulfillment will become dissatisfied with the security we have found and look for something new, exciting, different.
Alas, along with new and different comes a measure of insecurity – after all, we don’t know this ‘new‘ thing. We have to take the risk that after it has fulfilled the role of bringing excitement and intrigue, we want to be certain that it will become calm and comfortable like the old thing.
In the transition we must literally make ourselves less comfortable in order to move towards the new thing – and this insecurity agitates that part of our primitive mind that’s shouting ‘Stay Safe, Stay Safe!‘ This agitation is what we feel as painful. The knot in our stomach, the doubt in our mind.
So, if you are feeling uncomfortable with some changes going on in your life, or maybe just the thought of changing… know that is perfectly normal. The thing to do is evaluate the risks and then decide.
PS: If you need help with that my 90 Day Program is still available at no cost if you buy a copy of ‘How To Change Your Life One Day At A Time‘.
PPS: I’ve also started doing Skype coaching calls if you want to create some more rapid changes.